Good Eats

[Teresa]

He was behind me at the red light, a handsome forty-something guy in a big white pickup truck.  I watched him in my rearview mirror as he raked through his salt and pepper hair, ran an index finger across his top lip and squinted as if contemplating something serious, then he tugged at his right ear lobe several times which made me decide stress was causing these nervous picking tics.  

 

Mr. Stressed then stuck a finger in his ear, pinched out some material which he quickly put in his mouth.  Hoping I imagined this, I continued watching as he did the same with his left ear, cleaning any bonus wax under his nails with his bottom teeth. 

 

At first I laughed, in a shocked way, then I was mildly horrified, like the time Wendy Bentley told me snot tasted good then violently snorted out a quarter cup of shiny green glue and lapped it right up; I turned away and retched. 

 

We have names for eating dirt and dryer sheets, for gorging and puking, for not eating, but what about the name for eating our own yuck?   

[Edward Dean]

@Bill F; Too friggin' funny. You have just expanded my vocabulary (and the Western World) immensely!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Kristine_ES]

oh, but Teresa! nature WANTS us to eat our own yuck--i mean, wastenot wantsnot?  surely we don't produce these things for *nothing* if not overpriced finger food at wal mart? 

[Bill Floyd]

Autoepicureanism.  

[Jeanette Cheezum]

HAHA I bet you're a hit at your children's birthday parties.  :) Always delightful, "T".

[Toby Tucker Hecht]

Coprophagia is one name for eating something you didn't describe but is even worse (yuckier).

[Ron. Lavalette]

New genre: Ickylicious.

[Cheeky DeVille]

lol lawd you are absolutely horrid... salivating the suspense and then just dropped in the gooble -d-gook!

[Robert Crisman]

Snot with sugar is okay. At least that's what Catherine Columbraro told me in third grade. But earwax??? Can you imagine trying to pick that shit out of your teeth? Not to mention the fact that, if left in between them too long, it gives you death breath for days. 

[Teresa]

I'm sorry guys.  I had to share, and who else could I tell???  This world is doomed.

[Mike Handley]

There are no words ...