You Don't Want to Know

[Jared Handley]

"Dude," for several days Chris had refrained, but his roommate's persistent melancholy forced the question, "what crawled into your butthole and died?"

Travis stood and turned the corner of the couch so quickly Chris was convinced he had wounded his feelings by prying. Instead, Travis returned seconds later carrying a box of red Bicycle playing cards.

He shoved the deck into Chris' hands, turned his back to him and placed a couch cushion in front of his own face, muffling his words, "I'll do this and you pick two cards.

"The four of diamonds is in your left hand and the six of clubs is in your right, and you're wondering if it's the nine or the six, thinking that you can't ever remember if the line is on top or bottom."

An infinity of curiosities clamored for front of the line, but before Chris could utter the first, Travis answered, "Four days ago, and no it is not cool."













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[Javed Baloch]

crawled up your butt and died! Hehe,Good one Jared!

[Heidi Romano]

I had to read this twice. So, there is going to be a part two? Cause I would definitely read it...

[Jared Handley]

Harry, that is an ostensible part two to a story begging me to write it.

Thank you all for the read, I really latched on to this one.

[Harry]

I think those boys need a road trip to Vegas.

[Bill Floyd]

Intense & unsettling.

And yes, very good to see you posting again. You were missed.

[Gita]

An infinity of curiosities ALWAYS clamors to be at the front of the line in my head, but there's a big dude at the door with a clipboard who does triage. And never more so than when I try to figure out how YOUR mind works. This is a doozie.

[Robert Crisman]

Sounds to me like Travis had Chris nailed.

[Mike Handley]

Just for giggles, I Googled "crawled up your butt and died." It's worth a laugh or two.
As to the story here, it is definitely not not cool. I imagine everyone who reads this is going to be looking for the rest of the Lay's potato chips to see what happens next. I DO want to know ...

[Jamie Hogan]

First of all, it's good to see you back around.

This is a very cool revelation, and clever in its delivery. Love how the mind-reader immediately went to proving it, instead of trying to tell it first. And the first line rings true and funny, a great hook.