What can YOU say in six sentences?
When Hell Freezes Over
There is a cactus growing out of my roof.
I prattle about the yard taking the sprinkler off the hose and watering down the hot pink mums that have wrinkled into dead looking things under the Texas sun.
I keep eyeing the cactus, wondering about its vivacity and durability; the way it absorbs sunrays and transforms it into little prickles upon its paddles.
As I prattle and wonder, a mesquite thorn pierces my flip flop and pokes through the soft pink of my foot (ouch!).
I bend to yank it out, and a palm frond tip sinks itself into my face, under my eye (double ouch!), and then I’m hop, hop, hopping away from the baby palm on my good foot; I feel my eye swelling; I hear the clap of a cowboy boot on the road; I look up - Ol Joe stands on the corner of Magnolia street and watches me with a satisfied smirk on his face.
I hope there is a polar switch in 2012, and ol Joe with all his prickly Texas can freeze into Texas size popsicles!
I prattle about the yard taking the sprinkler off the hose and watering down the hot pink mums that have wrinkled into dead looking things under the Texas sun.
I keep eyeing the cactus, wondering about its vivacity and durability; the way it absorbs sunrays and transforms it into little prickles upon its paddles.
As I prattle and wonder, a mesquite thorn pierces my flip flop and pokes through the soft pink of my foot (ouch!).
I bend to yank it out, and a palm frond tip sinks itself into my face, under my eye (double ouch!), and then I’m hop, hop, hopping away from the baby palm on my good foot; I feel my eye swelling; I hear the clap of a cowboy boot on the road; I look up - Ol Joe stands on the corner of Magnolia street and watches me with a satisfied smirk on his face.
I hope there is a polar switch in 2012, and ol Joe with all his prickly Texas can freeze into Texas size popsicles!
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8 Comments
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Comment by Salvatore Buttaci on July 17, 2009 at 3:09pm - A dynamitely funny ending! Loved the piece!
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Comment by Scarlett Rose on July 10, 2009 at 1:14am -
haha.
I wish you could see my smile.
I knew this was going to be excellent from the very first sentence :)
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Comment by Jodi MacArthur on July 9, 2009 at 10:00am -
Aw, shucks, thanks everyone! I should vent my Texas woes here more often. Dude, stop that laughing before I stick you in that Three Rivers Lake where "Alligators Exist". Texas alligators - what the heck?
Oh, and gold stars for Harry recognizing Ol' Joe from Carnal Greens.
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Comment by Michael Solender on July 9, 2009 at 8:08am - oh jodi i like this piece so much with its hot pink mums claps of cowboy boots and prikley paddles. it is a gem...come to think of it...so are you!
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Comment by Harry on July 9, 2009 at 6:08am - I've been poked through my flip flop before and know the steps to that dance. I also liked the "little prickles upon its paddles" line and I'm wondering if Ol' Joe is THE Ol' Joe? Nice job as usual JoJo!
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Comment by mal on July 9, 2009 at 3:25am - Jodi, this is quite funny and cute as well.....very enjoyable...
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Comment by Dude A Bydes on July 8, 2009 at 7:19pm - Jodi Mac-- I think if I were Ol' Joe, I'd been laughing so hard at the cacti-two step I was watching, that I might have wet my Wranglers. Hewwww! That was good word image, JM.-Dude
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Comment by Erin Cole on July 8, 2009 at 6:47pm -
There is supposed to be a reversal of the magnetic poles 2012, that I imagine could start a storm or two... at least moving the cacti from your roof to the end of your driveway.
This is so cute - your word choice is young and fresh.
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