Tongue in cheek, foot in mouth

[Sandra Davies]

‘Crikey!’ I said from my hospital bed, having just given birth to my son, ‘Look at the nipples on her!’   A Mediterranean Madonna immediately opposite, family-surrounded and transparent nightie leaving nothing in doubt.  

Think of fresh figs.

Chaste cotton-covered and compounding stupidity I said to my spouse ‘I didn’t know you could get them like that!’ (too well aware that I couldn’t compare, having but dainty and pale amarettos)

‘Oh yes,’ he replied.

And I sensed the despondence of a man well aware that he’d opted for honest-but-goodness economy.

[Sandra Davies]

Thank you all - it is exceptionally gratifying to receive  an acknowledgement that I DO have a sense of humour   :-))

[Jamie Hogan]

1) Hilarious, in that familiar, back-booth-of-the-pub, Sandra kind of way that we love, 2) reinforces my staunch belief that women compare themselves to one another constantly, and in all ways, 3) figs - no thanks

[Toby Tucker Hecht]

Hilarious and well written.

[Mike Handley]

When it comes to figs, methinks on the breasts is better than on the butt. I'm just thinking out loud here.

[Ron. Lavalette]

Butt man, myself.  Still, I totally grok this.  Cool and funny.

[Sandra Davies]

Thanks friends - not at all sure what sparked this 35 year-old memory.

@ Rob - rest assured, any despondence was a) fleeting, b) within my own head, and c)  would have been due to my at-the-time over-sensitivity

[Teresa]

Giiiiirrrrrrrrrlllll...  I did mammograms for 22 years and let me just say that those fresh fig likenesses scared the shit out of me.  No thank you.  They're like pickled fingers.  I vote dainty any day. 

[Mike Handley]

Love it!

[Gita]

You had me at "Crikey!"  Then fresh figs and pale amarettos slayed me. If one were to take this Sandra and add her to the Sandra who wrote "She Said" on MudSpots this week, one could only say "Wicked funny."

Fave.

[Jeanette Cheezum]

HAHA I love it.