The Trinity (La Trinità)

[Aristotelis Orginos]

I. Il Padre

He’d lift me, I remember, toward the stars and ground me again. He’d lift me high enough to tickle God’s foot and set me down on the morning dew grass so I could be humbled by the little creatures now tickling my feet and he’d smile the whole damn time.

II. Il Figlio

I cradle our sleeping son and the picture book lies like a wigwam in the open field his brown bed covers make in the setting sun of his nightlight. The hills and valleys forged by the curves of his body must be hell for tired buffalo trying to find a nice spot to lie.

 

III. Lo Spirito Santo

Why do you depart from me, boy? Did I not give you enough of the world that you’d leave me here crippled by your scorn?

[Bill Floyd]

Great imagery, metaphor and lyricism.  I like the style and the sentiment, which could've been a touch saturating until that final bit, which grounded it in a deft touch of dissonance.

[Kristine_ES]

a little more poetic than prose, but either way, really visual and moving.

[Aristotelis Orginos]

Thank you both. :D
I don't know, I was trying to be experimental with this one. Stylistically and in terms of form. Glad to see it had its successes.

[Gita]

I disagree with Rudiger. The cadence and poetic feel of this triptych worked perfectly, in my view.

[Aristotelis Orginos]

Thank you.
I agree about the too-poetic thing. I was trying to approach poetic asymptotically but I see I overstepped the line a bit. Thanks for pointing it out.

[Rudiger Messiaen]

Christ, kid, you've got the knack. (Though maybe slow down a bit with the output so I've time to take it in).  That said, great sentences, construction, euphony.  At their best your sentences posses a music; though at times they get a touch poetic, and poetry is for, well, poems.  Great imagery, too.  What I liked best of this batch was sometimes I'd read a sentence a few times, and not worry about its meaning till the third time.  These of course are just one man's opinions.  But overall I like what you're doing, so I thought I'd say so.