The State's Star Witness

[Robert Crisman]

The bitch saw Shortell on her way out the door to go turn that trick with a guy who wore diapers...

Still, though, no problem: she'd come back wanting a nice hit of dope to wash out the taste and see the dude's head busted in on the bed, and grab up her shit and beat it on out of that room so damn fast that the whole fucking place would get windburn. The bitch was a dopefiend, so fuck fucking dude with his pimp fucking ass, and Shortell wasn't worried a lick; she'd never seen him before, and geezed to the tits as she'd been, she wouldn't know him from Adam's off-ox...and then there's the fact that the last thing she'd want would be chats with the cops in this lifetime.

She could get busted, and sure as shit stinks that would happen, and sooner than later, believe it, and she'd want to trade out from under, of course, but fuck it, with what? Some dude that she'd seen in a tangerine dream?

Good fucking luck...

[Angela]

My.

Hard to imagine having done so much it's that bad a bad-tasting blur.  Gritty comes to mind, but it is insufficient.

Perfectly written.

[Robert Crisman]

@Other: I didn't miss it and thought I addressed it, the first poster's comment as well as your own, with regard to my use of the word "fuck" in the piece. And I never meant to imply that you did disparage other people's writing. I was just telling you what I thought about commentary in general, which is what I thought you were asking for in your initial comment.

[Robert Crisman]

@Other: And I know you know what I'm talkin' about.

[Robert Crisman]

@Other: This was written in Shortell's voice and the Shortells of the world use "fuck" for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, as verbs, nouns, adjectives, adverbs, prepositions, and punctuation. It's the fourth most commonly used word in the English language after "and," "but," and "the" with these guys. George V. Higgins' Boston crooks were the same kind of guys and he rendered them that way and it wasn't filler by any stretch of the imagination. If my rendering here doesn't work for some, oh well. It worked for me.

As for comments, if I have a critique, I'll send the person a private message. Spares feelings. This site isn't Lit Class.

[Joey Delgado]

Sometimes an appropriately placed 'fuck' is poetry. In fact, sir, you bring the poetry out of the seediest of underbellies. :)