The Mother Who Waited

[Deborah Jiang Stein]

Sometimes attachment takes a long time.

My parents adopted me around three or four from foster care. Before foster care I’d spent a year with my other mother in prison, when authorities removed me around age one, and I unconsciously held out for over twenty-five years for my prison mother to “come get me,” held out without knowing it.

I rejected my mother for decades, the mother who stood by me no matter what, the mother who waited for me to come out the other side of pain and fury, the mother whom I plotted to gas to death, the mother whose face my fist grazed before it punctured sheet rock, every bone in my right hand shattered.

At last, when my mother was in her 70s, I in my 30s, I "hired" her as my mother. She died on Thanksgiving, just hours after I flew in to spend the holiday with her.

(This link shares the fuller story http://bit.ly/Thanksgiving-mother)

[Deborah Jiang Stein]

Ron, I'm only now reading your comment. Not sure why I hadn't seen it :/

Thanks for reading, and I'm with you, sad for those who don't come around and find reconciliation.

[Ron. Lavalette]

Sometimes we come around very slooooooowly. At least you came around. I pity those who don't. I almost didn't. Thanks for sharing.

[Deborah Jiang Stein]

Thank you for reading, Sissy. These two are my mother and myself — my story. Lucky to be out the other side.

[Sissy Anderson]

Oh my, this is heavy. We are stupid when we are young (I know). I'm so happy these two found some peace. Painful and honest, thank you for sharing.