The Most Important Words I'll Ever Speak

[Jenny Darlington]

The day you came into my life, I honestly didn't know what to think; we had waited patiently for your arrival for months, well let's be honest, I was a tad impatient in the end. 

I had planned for this day for most of my life, but now that it was here, and in the days and months that followed, I was gripped by fear at every turn, not the fairy tale happiness that I had always imagined you'd bring when you finally came.

I know I missed some of your important moments while I struggled over that fear, the guilt, the longing to know what was wrong with me for feeling this way, even though they all kept telling me, it's normal, don't worry, it'll pass; the belief that I would never be as good as you deserved plagued me, leaving me begging for the respite of sleep.

I don't know when it all shifted, I just know that at some undefined moment in time, suddenly you were the brightest light in my life, the best thing that had every happened to me and, to quote that old meanie The Grinch, my heart grew three sizes that day, and it's continued to grow ever since, steadfast and strong, never wavering in the same way again.

The love I feel for you could not be matched by anyone or anything in the history of this world, because there's no way a love stronger than this could exist; I sometimes worry that my heart might just burst into a thousand little pieces of white light, every one of them calling out your name, and yet every last piece would try to cling to you.

I've now learned that the most important words I have ever spoken, or will ever speak for as long as I live, are the two deceptively tiny words, "my son."

[Jenny Darlington]

Thanks so much everyone :-)

[Teresa]

I know this feeling well.  Especially with my fourth child.  Maybe because he is the baby of the family.  Even at five, he still has those dimples and chubby cheeks.  And what should be "Hey, look!" is more like "Hey, wook!"  I want to inhale him.  I think our hearts really do "burst into a thousand little pieces of white light".  Every single day. 

Moving post.

[Angela]

Touching, heart-warming, well said.

[Cita]

You will like this song called "My Son":  http://payplay.fm/track/7477443/Gail%20Steiger/The%20Romance%20Of%2...

[Jeanette Cheezum]

The last line erased the worry throughout the piece. Sweet moments to share with us.

[Jenny Darlington]

Thanks so much Scarlett!

[Scarlett Rose]

Beautiful. Captured the mother perspective wonderfully, captured the emotion wonderfully and the last sentence in particular is ridiculously lovely. Thank you for sharing this!