What can YOU say in six sentences?
The Hero's Journey in a Flash
I based this story on Christopher Vogler's 12-step "Hero's Journey" plot guideline (a summary of which can be found here). It is used in films like "The Matrix". It's my hope that this is one of the most concise hero's journey stories ever written. I challenge you to make one that's shorter! (I'm going to give it ago myself soon).
I was queueing up at my village's only well, though it was almost always dry, sandals off, robe hitched up like everyone else (to mitigate the effects of the terrible heat) when a rider drew up and told me he needed me to find the fabled stolen lightning bolt of the gods, and that only I would do. I refused of course, being afraid of the demon who guarded it, and yet doubtful that it was nothing more than a myth, but he said there would be a pitcher of water in it for me if I went to see the wise old sage, so, glancing at the long queue before me, I did as he suggested. The sage told me I would have my water only if I followed his teachings, so I was patient as he taught me how to charm a rope into the air and climb it without need for grapple nor support, after which he said I was the best student he had ever had and bid me see how high I could go. I did, and unknowingly entered the heavens, angering the gods, goddesses and angels, who would not let me back down to earth until I passed their tests and trials, and it was then that I thought that the sage had tricked me. After failing many tasks, and unable to travel downwards towards home, I was struck with the idea of climbing higher still, and it was as I left the heavens and entered the darkness beyond that I saw the lighting bolt right there in front of me, and the demon who guarded it facing away from me towards a door. I knew then that the sage had always known the way to defeat the enemy, so with great conviction I took up the lightning bolt and struck down the demon, killing us both, but the Storm God resurrected me, praised me for restoring his sacred bolt to Him, returned me home, and was once more able to bless my homeland with rain.
I was queueing up at my village's only well, though it was almost always dry, sandals off, robe hitched up like everyone else (to mitigate the effects of the terrible heat) when a rider drew up and told me he needed me to find the fabled stolen lightning bolt of the gods, and that only I would do. I refused of course, being afraid of the demon who guarded it, and yet doubtful that it was nothing more than a myth, but he said there would be a pitcher of water in it for me if I went to see the wise old sage, so, glancing at the long queue before me, I did as he suggested. The sage told me I would have my water only if I followed his teachings, so I was patient as he taught me how to charm a rope into the air and climb it without need for grapple nor support, after which he said I was the best student he had ever had and bid me see how high I could go. I did, and unknowingly entered the heavens, angering the gods, goddesses and angels, who would not let me back down to earth until I passed their tests and trials, and it was then that I thought that the sage had tricked me. After failing many tasks, and unable to travel downwards towards home, I was struck with the idea of climbing higher still, and it was as I left the heavens and entered the darkness beyond that I saw the lighting bolt right there in front of me, and the demon who guarded it facing away from me towards a door. I knew then that the sage had always known the way to defeat the enemy, so with great conviction I took up the lightning bolt and struck down the demon, killing us both, but the Storm God resurrected me, praised me for restoring his sacred bolt to Him, returned me home, and was once more able to bless my homeland with rain.
Comment
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Comment by Jot on December 30, 2008 at 2:53pm
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Comment by Barry Northern on December 24, 2008 at 3:56am -
Thanks all for you kind comments, and Daniel, I look forward to reading your answer to my challenge. I suppose for the purposes of adding the flash to 6S it must, and it's a handy structure --two steps per sentence!.
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Comment by Daniel on December 23, 2008 at 9:05pm -
Wow man that is concise. Must the flash be a six? OK, I will accept the challenge. By the way, very nicely done.
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Comment by Ian Rochford on December 23, 2008 at 6:38pm -
Whoa! Nicely done - I'm a Vogler fan, the book's worth reading for its own sake. Have you considered turning this into a script? Nothing ventured, nothing gained (LOTR in 4 words!)
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