The Grim Reaper Suffers a Slump

[Gita]

I.

The Grim Reaper entered Charlene Shiner’s beauty shop via the back door, after hours, per agreement, and folded himself into a shampoo chair.

“Just the usual,” he said morosely, drawing a nail clipper out of the folds of his cloak and going at a few yellow hang-nails with a vengeance.

Char took one look at Grimmy’s head and slipped on latex gloves before touching him.

“What have you been using on your hair, atomic waste?” she said, peering at the gelatinous goo holding his comb-over in place.

“No editorializing -- I’m not in the mood,” Grimmy barked.

“Well look who got up on the wrong side of the bridge underpass this morning!” Char barked back, tolerating no lip in her own place of business.

 

II.

Grimmy settled back in his chair with his knobby skull over the rim of the shampoo sink while Char ran hot water over his head, double long.

"In case you hadn’t noticed, deaths are way down, which puts me behind on my quotas.”

Char squeezed a gob of Head and Shoulders into her palm and started massaging, knowing from experience that he’d spill his problems after a vigorous scalp-scratching.

“Ceasefires everywhere, peaceful demonstrations, use of restraint, Rosh Hashana -- nobody’s killing anyone these days except the Mexicans.”

Char gave his withered ears two playful tugs and said, “Have you ever thought of branching out into another line of business ?”

“Well, I had been wanting to specialize in show business deaths, such as those Housewives of  New York and those New Jersey shore people,” Grimmy said, "but that seemed too much like performing a public service."

[Kristine_ES]

that's not enough reason *not* to try. 

Next to my HoW magnet is another magnet that says: 

WHAT WOULD YOU ATTEMPT TO DO IF YOU KNEW YOU COULD NOT FAIL? 

hmmm? 

[Teresa]

Dear Gita,

Please read the private email I just sent you.  The critic of all critics, asshole of all assholes, just reviewed a collection of six Shiner stories.  Basically the verdict is:  THEY WILL SELL...  And why put time and hope and love into something that might not go as far as you want?  Why get out of bed?  Why fall in love?  Why do anything since we're all gonna die anyway?  Because we're all gonna die anyway.  Write.it.now.   

[Gita]

BUT IT WON'T SELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Dude! Why put all that time and hope and love into something that will sell 13 copies? I assume 13, being the number of people who go to HoW.

[Mike Handley]

This is but one reason I like to come home from my little trips. I so love it when the mice play. Although hard pressed to pick a favorite from the Grimmy series, this ranks WAY up there. Oh, and listen to Teresa, Robert and Harry. You do it, and I'll illustrate it.

[Bill Floyd]

Sometimes it seems that there's a whole genre of Grim-Reaper-as-overworked-Everyman stories, and isn't it strange that we see Death that way?  I love this contribution, I love Char, and I love that you've called him "Grimmy".  And I love Shauna's idea of Death having his own reality show.  What happens when we see the cameras outside our house?

[FlowerChild]

I. Love. This. Fresh and witty and it considerably brightened my morning! :)

[shauna mcclure]

Such verve and snappy dialogue. I stand in awe. Let's get Grimmy his own show.

[Angela]

I am so glad to see these two.  They give me great pleasure - so imaginative and fresh.  Fine 6x2.

[Brad Rose]

Love "...got up on the wrong side of the bridge underpass this morning." And the idea of falling behind on the quota for death. The last line of II is "killer".

[Harry]

Listen to Teresa.