One clue in all this: these deep layers of fear appeared to reach past ourselves, as it were, to embrace the world, or worlds, of which we were part.
Ego is hollow, the world fills you up--and this meant, above all for me, that the fear of life's waste which the devil had planned bespoke a connection with all that there is, that I had once thought a delusion at best.
And yes, the fear had something to do with the fact that we stood at the top of the food-chain--no chain, no food--but beyond that, we all had been born in the dust of mankind, and mankind had imparted to us Nosferatu our very first stirrings of music, which put us on par with the gods in the first place had we but known it.
And then came ingestion of alien blood, spirit, rhythms, made one with ours and bringing the whole to new, sky-borne pitch, and toppling those gods into nothing...
Also with this, a new vision, a humble recognition, in fact--that every least seeming atom of every least no-account wastrel on earth is accorded a place at life's table.
And who would we be to try and deny it, though there are those who shit in the soup and, uh, must be dealt with, but that's as it is, and meanwhile--goddamn the arrogant devil's presumption...
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