What can YOU say in six sentences?
Stump Shiner walks through a corridor of milling hunters/shoppers at the Buckmasters Whitetail Deer Expo eating nachos from a cardboard boat and accidentally lets a plume of melted cheese fall on the carpet.
The next passerby, a woman in a rhinestone studded shirt and strappy sandals, slide-steps twice on the cheese blob before regaining her balance and walking on.
Then, a boy of ten, whose mother buys his clothes in Target’s “Chunky Kids” department, backs away from a display of deer skulls to take a photo with his phone. In so doing, he spreads the cheese in an orange-ish swath across the corridor.
Now the cheese has smear-travelled from its original pool in the southbound lane of foot traffic into the northbound lane, just as the governor of the great state of Alabama himself, Robert Bentley, approaches the spot.
He is saved, however, by his advanceman, a flatfooted bodyguard named Trey, who picks up the cheese (now mixed with sufficient carpet fibers to develop some tack) in the tread of his size twelve Rockports and carries it home to his interested dog.
** some of the above really happened.