What can YOU say in six sentences?
He didn’t kill anybody, though some cops with spit-shined sunglasses and starched underwear claimed the 30-year-old bank robber meant to. He’d thrown a ninja star at a policeman, for crissakes, hit the officer in the neck and drew blood, right before dashing into a Florida swamp to elude his would-be captors.
They reluctantly dropped the attempted murder charge, and only because some fancy-smancy doctors said the man, whose upward gaze was always fastened on the invisible planes and helicopters spying on him, was incompetent to stand trial. Still, a judge hell-bent on exacting justice, sent him to a facility in North Carolina where they found the right medicinal cocktail to -- by god -- make him competent to sit through the robbery trial.
Ten years and a month for stealing $6,829, he got, plus five years of supervised probation and a no-expiration-date bill for the $737 he spent before authorities cornered him. They don’t cotton to or coddle ninjas in Alabama, even ones with no prior criminal record.