Smells Like Team Spirit

[Teresa]

I was a Dallas Cowboys fan for about five minutes, a hiccup of loyalty born of two Marker's Mark Bourbon and Diet Coke cocktails, but a question burned away the fog of imagined team spirit: What Is Football? During the last game I attended my mind was flooded with images of soldiers at war, homelessness, world hunger, disease, poverty, our dying Social Security fund and the national deficit all juxtaposed with the expense of attending a football game -- the $300+ tickets, $15 kobe beef burgers, $12 cocktails and $60 parking. I thought about how much it cost to build the new Cowboy's stadium, the player's salaries, huge advertising budgets, big, big and bigger money obnoxiously squandered, then more and bigger money pissed out only to be eaten and shit out again and again and again: What Is Football? Is it a simulation of war? What would a closer look at football reveal in terms of its history and the psychology of team spirit? Load up on guns, bring your friends...

[Bill Floyd]

This is a fine, penetrative piece, especially for us sports fans. I think the game of football itself is great--like nearly all our sports, it seems to involve the unsubtle sexual catharsis of driving a ball into a zone, but the variety of permutations in football makes it chess-like to a degree. It's the rampant commercial overkill associated with the game that's made it well nigh unwatchable, either live or on TV. Kind of like cinema, or music, or literature, or just about any cathartic diversion you can name.... Find me something pure, and we'll find a way to taint and dilute it. The kids playing in the backyard are still having the most fun.

[Robert Crisman]

You know what? Fuck football.

[Teresa]

Thanks all. I'm married to a diehard Cowboys fan. I grew up in a family of Cowboys fans and so did he. Sports is big, big business. People, mostly men, are deeply moved (from butt-slapping respect to bulldozing rage) by their teams and game outcomes. They spend irrational $$$ on getting closer to their sport, on betting, on supplementing their experience with overpriced food and alcohol. Irrational. They park and party (in rain/sleet/snow) in a parking lot outside of the stadium dressed like clowns....WTF? I.Don't.Get.It...This isn't the only example of irrational human behavior (Lady Gaga is coming to town and the tickets are $$$...) But thanks for letting me rant.

[Mike Handley]

There is no fucking way I'd spend that kind of money to watch a game in a stadium, when I can do it from my own sofa. I like SEC football, but I'm losing my respect for it. It's obscene how much college coaches are paid, when faculty are barely living -- and modestly -- from paycheck to paycheck.

[Jamie Hogan]

This is as pure as a rant gets. Agree with Robert about "hiccup of loyalty" - that's a strong, strong turn. There is an emotion to your writing that is greater than it would seem the words should allow.

As a COLLEGE sports fan (no interest in professional sports), I echo Jared.

[Robert Crisman]

Great stuff! You ought to expand this and send it in to Sports Illustrated, or maybe the New Yorker. My favorite phrase is "a hiccup of loyalty".
All the people who jack off to football on Sunday... Yes, we are doomed as a species.

[Harry]

I think Jared's theory is pretty on target. I grew up not caring much about football but when I moved to Denver in the early 80s it was like what Gita says of Alabama. A religion. When in Rome... I became a fan and John Elway took "my" team to the Superbowl the very first year and two of the next three after that. They lost each one. Some 15 or so years later they finally got the job done and Jared's "orgasm in your heart" describes it pretty well. though I'd add the monkey is off my back now and it's not as big a deal. Definitely would rather watch at home or a bar than spend $500 to attend a game.

[Sissy Anderson]

I read a great book, called "Sacred Causes", please, no tomatoes from the Dems please...it's about how Football (or any ball-game) has replaced God. It comes from a Christian/Political view, but the idea is solid, we are a lost society in so many ways. We "worship" sports, Hollywood, titles, and even our "houses", and have marginalized family, spirit, relationships, and stewardship (seven generations). Okay, I'm stepping down from my tiny soap box. Excellent six, T!

[Sandra Davies]

@ Jared - Well if THAT - "it's like an orgasm in your heart" - doesn't show up the difference between men & women I don't know what does!!!!!!!
@ T - I'm as bemused and angry as you at the materialistic hi-jacking of what used to be a just a game ... admittedly sme centuries ago I assume.

[Bonnie]

I'm with you Teresa. Hugely over-rated events where guys enjoy slapping each other on the ass and jumping on each other in a pile for millions of bucks.. I suppose it's nice work if you can get it, but sure doesn't make a lot of sense to me. Moreso, the fans who pay the big bucks, therefore, perpetuating the silliness. Think of what could be done with all that money.....astonishing.