What can YOU say in six sentences?
Mathilda (Mattie) Fluker died on her Ethan Allen living room sofa in the middle of episode 417 of The Young and The Restless, fully clothed, upright, and in full possession of her senses. Next to her on an early-American reproduction side table sat her afternoon glass of sweet tea, a battalion of vitamin bottles and a TV Guide opened to an article about Ryan Seacrest’s new $40 million mansion.
None of these caused Mattie’s death, however, nor did the steamy, adulterous love scene in a hotel room playing out on the screen in High Definition.
First, a pale, creased man materialized next to the TV (he reminded her of Peter O’Toole except that his hair had been colored an unflattering shade of aubergine) and he pointed to his watch and beckoned.
Then, a wild-eyed younger man in filthy jeans moved toward her with a snub-nosed revolver, yelling something at her from a mouth dotted with sores.
“Why now?” she asked aloud, going very, very cold, thinking about her Christian Canasta Cruise ticket that would go to waste, feeling the bullet part her hair above her bangs and then nothing.