Six Daily Secrets of My Authorial Success

[Brad Rose]

1. Hearty breakfast of M&Ms in big bowl of milk, skim or 2% (reduces calories).

2. Read a few pages of James Joyce, backwards (but never Finnegan's Wake).

3. Take a walk in the neighborhood (unarmed, only if absolutely necessary).

4. Think really slowly about fast things (then, reverse).

5. Rue the day, 15 years ago, we bought the Poodle  for the daughter, who hasn’t once, in 15 years, walked the manic, immortal,  barking beast.

6. Put pen to paper and count my lucky stars the rent doesn’t depend on publishers' acceptance notices.

[Kristine_ES]

1. might try this.

2. nah... but can we drink whisky instead?

3. yikes.

4. tried this, and now loves saying "grand turismo omologato" reeeealy slow. 

5. this cracked me up. 

6. so glad you put pen to paper and share with us, and what do publishers know anyway?  ;) 

[Gita]

You can do something about the dog's immortality, you know...

[Teresa]

My favorite is #4!  And #5!  I have such a "manic, immortal, barking beast", only it's a Chihuahua with behavior problems.  She's awful and we love her anyway.  She has magical manipulative powers.  Ha.

 

Funny, funny six.

[Toby Tucker Hecht]

Just want you to know that I actually tried out the M&Ms for breakfast this morning.  Yummy....

[bolton carley]

oh, i so badly want to take this as a challenge to come up with my own, but i am no where near even calling it an authorial success!  love the breakfast, but the poodle one is hysterical!  funny how things come to pass.  and that it has such an effect on you.  great stuff as always.

[Toby Tucker Hecht]

Hilarious!  I loved #1 but related to #5.

[Judy Thompson]

1. good to see you worrying about extra calories

2. how can you tell backwards from frontwards??

3. gotta work of those excess skim milk calories

4. Dang that is hard to do

5. bwahahahaha the spawn of satan, yap yap yap yap

(read Billy Collins' "Why I No Longer Keep  A Gun in the House"

6.  Pffft what do publishers know.  They'll be sorry someday.

 

Perfect, just perfect. 

[Jadie Jones]

My favorite is #1. I do peanut butter and m&m sandwiches...

[Angela]

Oh!  You may have inspired others to share their secrets, too.  Very funny, Brad.  My favorite is #3.