What can YOU say in six sentences?
Late-breaking news that last Friday night: Cleveland went up in a shitstorm of gunfire; a 52-car pileup down in L.A. backed traffic up nearly 86 miles; four babies shot dead by gun-toting daddies in three states this week; an eight-year-0ld Cub Scout skewered by Scoutmaster Fred down in Texas; Penn State goes broke; the U.S. gets chesty with China.
That Lexus there with the blonde with the lungs on the screen--it made Dagwood drool; Blondie clucked once over Scoutmaster Fred and went back to her book, 50 Shades...
Dagwood went fishing with Woodley next morning, and Blondie watched reruns of Oprah and plotted out how to get Dag to clean out that fucking garage at long last; she thought about withholding sex but, hell, they hadn't done it, not really, since Dagwood's last raise in May 1950.
That evening the polar ice melted; Obama said, "We can do better!"; the Pentagon said uh uh, took over, and sent missiles winging to Beijing; Lexus announced they were dropping their prices to nothing, "so come in today and test-drive a Lexus before they're all gone!"
Dag came in bitching: the damn fish weren't biting and Woodley's a fool; Blondie shortstopped the snivel by letting him know that she'd simply love a new Lexus.
But first he had to clean out that goddamned garage...