Romantic Weekend #1

[shauna mcclure]

Paul and Sandy have been dating for three months, and this is their first weekend away together; the relationship is still in the groove: both parties still on their best behavior, teeth brushed and flossed, sex interesting and creative - well constructed narratives of their respective pasts.

Paul loves Sandy's hair, her long legs and her tits like perfect champagne glasses, and Sandy loves Paul's humor, his intellect, the way he looks at her when they make love, but as they motor along Highway One to their weekend destination in Carmel, Paul feels the old familiar pain - the tug in his gut.

Did you hear that? the urgency in his voice almost palpable.

Hear what? she asks as they speed along the winding road that hugs the vast blue Pacific, and after a brief discussion about what could possibly be making that sound he hears in the trunk - Sandy still stubbornly deaf to the noise - Paul pulls the car to the side of the road with the assurance to Sandy that perhaps something has simply shifted in the trunk and he will check it out.

Paul heads to the rear of the car, and as he opens the trunk he lets rip a fart of extraordinary force and length with a estimated decibel level of approximately one hundred and thirty-three.

Everything okay? Sandy asks as Paul climbs back into the driver's seat

Everything's fine, Paul smiles and winks at her as he puts the car in drive.

[Angela]

I suspected he had a dead wife who had resurrected herself from her mobile tomb. Your version was much more entertaining.

[lifeisbeautiful03]

that was unexpected..hahah extremely funny..good one!

[Teresa]

I heard a story once about a girl....well, nevermind.

Funny memories.

[Toby Tucker Hecht]

Here's a true story---two couples are in a car and the man driving is having the same problem that Paul had in your 6S. Instead of the wonderful disappearing act Paul did, this man lets it rip and then turns to his date, makes a horrid face, and says in a loud but empathetic voice, "Oh Joan!!!" and starts waving his hand to disperse the smell.

[Sissy Anderson]

Well thanks for clearing that up for me, I had not the nerve to ask. I was almost curious enough to Google images of champagne flute shaped breasts, but thought better of it.

[shauna mcclure]

Flutes were so not what I had in mind, and I can see how the image is disturbing and kinda National Geographic (I was going for the wide, shallow kind they used in the 1960/70s...)...i stole the whole story from a friend in any event, although the names have been changed to protect the flatulent.

[NoozeHound]

I'm sorry. I wish you had said saucers. All I could see was a woman with Chapmagne flute breasts. {sigh} Why is the Pacific always going to sound so much more romantic than the North Sea, the English Channel (appropriate nod to my French friends) the Irish Sea and the Atlantic. I hope Paul was wearing brown slacks!

[Robert Crisman]

Men need to learn to be silent farters too.

[shauna mcclure]

they can't all be serious and "literary"...have a great weekend everyone.

[Sissy Anderson]

Thanks for the laugh.