Rodney And Moms, Which Makes...Three?

[Robert Crisman]

One

Rodney Dangerfield never got any respect and thank God for that. Here's one of his I always liked:

 

I go to the doctor. Doctor tells me I'm overweight. I told him I wanted a second opinion. He said, "Okay, you're ugly too."

 

 

Two

Jackie "Moms" Mabley, like Red Foxx, was a star of the Chitlin Circuit for many years, but unlike him, never really made it into the "mainstream," which shows you how much richer the, uh, side waters can be. Here's one from Moms:

 

My mother told me, always speak good of the dead.

My uncle died.

He's dead.

Good.

 

Three

Another from Moms:

 

My friend come over to my house and told me she wanted to commit suicide.

I said, "You wanna commit suicide?"

She said, "Yeah, I wanna commit suicide."

I give her my .22 pistol and told her, "You go home and take a hot bath and then have a nice cup of tea, and then take this gun, and shoot yourself one inch below your left breast."

Don't you know that fool went home and shot herself in the knee?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Joseph Lupoli]

That's funny stuff, Robert! Rodney was an old school comedian who had to pay his dues. Remember these gems?

 

"It ain't easy being me. If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex-life at all!"

 

"I'll Tell you, I come from a tough neighborhood. Why, I can't even close my upstairs windows without seeing two hands on the sill!"

 

"My mother-in-law had a pain in her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee!"

 

"I'll tell you, I'm no great lover. Last week I went to a hooker and dropped my pants. She dropped her price!"

[Robert Crisman]

@T: See? Empathy is everything.

[Teresa]

My favorite is #2.  Out loud laugh.  Thought of The Beast.  I'll be dancing on that man's grave.