What can YOU say in six sentences?
Rodney Dangerfield never got any respect and thank God for that. Here's one of his I always liked:
I go to the doctor. Doctor tells me I'm overweight. I told him I wanted a second opinion. He said, "Okay, you're ugly too."
Jackie "Moms" Mabley, like Red Foxx, was a star of the Chitlin Circuit for many years, but unlike him, never really made it into the "mainstream," which shows you how much richer the, uh, side waters can be. Here's one from Moms:
My mother told me, always speak good of the dead.
My uncle died.
Another from Moms:
My friend come over to my house and told me she wanted to commit suicide.
I said, "You wanna commit suicide?"
She said, "Yeah, I wanna commit suicide."
I give her my .22 pistol and told her, "You go home and take a hot bath and then have a nice cup of tea, and then take this gun, and shoot yourself one inch below your left breast."
Don't you know that fool went home and shot herself in the knee?