Rites (and Wrongs) of Passage

[Joey Delgado]

There are many so-called 'Rites of Passage' for kids, especially boys. I say this because the phrase is usually ascribed to an event in a young boy's life that solidifies (or not) his journey into manhood; his first kiss, the first time he drinks a beer with his friends, the first time he has sex, the first time he wrecks a car, the first time he sees his mother cry, the first time he has a beer with his dad (a much more satisfying experience than with his friends), and so on.  

 

A 'rite' frequently over-looked due to its being devoid of both nobility and evidence of maturity, is the one I felt taught me the most: the searching of my parent's drawers and closets for cool shit.

 

There were certain items we weren't really looking for, but secretly hoped we'd find, like cigarettes and dirty magazines, and things we didn't know about but knew they were not to be discussed if we found them, like the items we discovered in the back of Kevin's mom's closet in a Cloud Nine shoe box.

 

Searching my mom's room we hit the mother lode, the unlabeled videotape, and when we popped it in the VCR our mouths hung open, stunned by the sheer amount of depravity on my television screen, the sheer amount of depravity my mother watched of her own accord.

 

Our disturbed silence was broken when we heard my mom coming up the porch steps, slowly at first, then, when she recognized the sounds coming from the television, very quickly, causing Kevin to make a dash for the backdoor, leaving me alone to face a lesson I'll not forget: never watch an unlabeled videotape in the living room.

[Angela]

Oh, Lord.  How horrible for everyone.

This is why I have selected a friend to wipe my computer and go through my things when I die, quickly, before my children get there.

[Teresa]

Robert, you know what it was.  The same thing is in every woman's Cloud Nine shoe box....;-)

[Robert Crisman]

Great six. And I applaud your desire to protect the innocent.

I'm lying like a dog, of course. Can't you give us just a hint?

[Joey Delgado]

@Mike: I should have! But I looked so guilty she would've seen right through it.

@Teresa: Thank you so much. Yes that label would stopped me cold.....maybe......

[Teresa]

She should have labeled the videotape:  Joey's Vaginal Delivery/Dad's Colonoscopy.  Great post, both the writing and subject matter.  I'm a glutton for life stories.  Love this.

[Mike Handley]

I hope you blamed it on Kevin.

[Joey Delgado]

Thank you, Michelle.

@Scarlett: That will forever remain a secret to protect the innocent.

@Sandra: Definitely a lesson for my poor mom.

@Judy: Oh yes, another valuable lesson indeed.

[Judy Thompson]

yep, yep, me too.  That gut ripping feeling of utter terror, embarrassment, and there ist utterly No Way you are going to be able to explain your way out of it...lol

And maybe the other lesson:  what's in someone else's private life is none of  our business =)

[Sandra Davies]

Bit of a rite and wrong - and a lesson to learn - for your mother too no doubt!

[Scarlett Rose]

I wanna know what was in Kevin's mum's closet!