Priority Anchor

[Kristine_ES]

He can ask a question without saying the exact words because sometimes he cares the ice is thin right there and treads with caution. He knows where my wounds are and sometimes chooses to ignore them, tactlessly gavelling the question home. But last night he asked the (unspoken) question and surprisingly I answered without feeling my back stiffen or the poison rise--my throat did not clench, tears did not spring. I simply answered that now was not the right time to get my passport and see Iron Maiden in England (or anywhere.)

When I was young and living on my own and had some extra cash, I daydreamed of driving to the airport and flying to anywhere and who cares that I had no way to get back and who knew I needed a passport. My dream wants to fly, and a pox on me for clipping its wings repeatedly.

[Sissy Anderson]

Yes, I agree with below comments. I've been poor most of my life, then married and for a while, had all my needs met, then he boomed, and had all the extras, then was working class poor again, now we're on the lower end of middle class....makes for a confusing mix.  I drive an older Ford now, not a silver Mercedes with beige leather interior which was  my bribe gift to keep me around (by the ex), I'm freer now than I was before, but I can't buy the nice things I do like, I was cursed with expensive taste, and I too want to fly to New York!!!! All the time.

[Stephen Torelli]

We did that in the 1970s, just go, drive until you can't go anymore and ending in Acapulco, Mexico or California only because the ocean was in the way. Eventually, we grew up and found jobs. Excellent piece.  

[Kristine_ES]

we shed (some of) who we are because we have to. it's part of survival, i guess, but that doesn't make it pleasant or easier. 

 

well gita, there's only one solution. write ourselves to fame and fortune and never miss another new york minute.... *sigh*

[Gita]

I feel like you got inside my head with this. Some days I want to fly to New York and see a play so badly it physically hurts. Ian McKellan did a limited run on Broadway of MacBeth and I cried off and on for a day that I couldn't afford to go.  That's not being a whiner, either. I have not bought any new clothes in two years  and I don't eat out in restaurants. It's a simple fact of my life that I'm poor. But not going to live theater feels like I've shed a part of who I am.