One Lovely Evening In May

[Robert Crisman]

I saw this thing once that drove it on home how some men are just about too scared to live.

Some hustlers were hanging around on the block when this middle-aged guy, a regular there who'd tricked with them all, turned the corner, walked past them, and kept up the block; one of the kids, 6'2" and muscled and mean, had robbed him the previous night.

The guy didn't glance at them once, just kept going, with a gait showing plainly that fear had turned him to wood, and yet here he was now, trying to pretend that he wasn't scared, that he was just down for a casual stroll on this lovely May evening--in this fucking cesspool of all fucking places--and that pretense is why he'd showed up in the first place.

The big kid got this look in his eye, and put a flesh-eating grin on his face, and caught up with the guy and just walked alongside, that flesh-eating grin and those eyes boring holes; the guy just kept going, his eyes straight ahead, as if he could convince all the critics and judges and ghosts in his head that nothing was happening at all.

They got to a crowd at the end of the block by this bus stop, and the kid stepped in front of the guy and they stopped, and now it was showtime--mean guys seek applause for the terror they wreak--and the kid threw a right and knocked the guy cold, then skipped down the street, his arms raised in air, trailing laughter.

After awhile the guy came awake and got to his feet and wobbled away, as if he'd just stopped to sniff daisies or something, his face bloodied, wooden, his eyes locked on nothing--and I saw truly how some guys would rather just die than know and acknowledge their fear in the face of the world.

[Dude A Bydes]

A sheep is a sheep and a wolf is a wolf... regardless the appearance, we are what we are.

[Robert Crisman]

@Other: Well, I guess you had to have been there. This guy was sort of a sad, lonely little guy who used to come down there regularly, to trick and hang around and sort of pretend he was one of the guys. He used to take guys up to his crib to drink beer and smoke dope. He wasn't known for going after rough trade. My guess is he made a mistake with the big kid, who was pretty.

There are those people who get off on violent fantasies such as you describe, but it's hard to see it in this context. First, the guy wasn't that kind of freak. Second, he'd have had to have been hat-trick stupid to think things wouldn't "go too far" in that neck of the woods, even with crowds around. It was a violent area and guys got hurt down there all the time. He was flirting with danger alright, that's part of what drew him down there, but it wasn't a sex thing. His act that night was a far more common, if egregious, example of guys who think that their manhood depends not showing fear regardless of how dangerous a situation may be. A broad swathe of American manhood, to a greater or lesser degree, thinks the same way, n'est ce pas? I've seen the game played over and over, down there and whole lots of other places. Sometimes it's justified, a whole lot of other times not. The danger he walked into, for example, was something far better avoided.

Lastly, if the guy had brought a gun--hard to see knowing him, and in any case he didn't--it would have been merely a prop for more of his Fantasy Island gameplaying. He would never have considered using the fucker.

[Other]

@Gita: Only recently have I even left my blog posts or comments up on 6s or anywhere else.   I usually erase everything I write, everywhere.   I'm drifting, though, and don't know where I'll end up..

[Gita]

Other. I've been wondering lately why you don't use a name and a photo on here. Just curious.

[Other]

I didn't use the plural. I didn't attribute any 'different' eroticism to a particular orientation. For some folks, though, violent fantasy is a necessary prelude to sex. I can imagine a person thinking they can invite an event of violence, such as the one you describe, that won't 'go too far' because of so many eyes on the scene, and take the thrill of it home with them for some masturbatory submission enchantment. In this case, he'd had a sneak preview of an antagonist the day before.

I also imagined that the guy could have brought a gun, intending to blow the punk away, and just couldn't do it, but showed great courage to be there, despite visibly harrowing fear.

In any case, why did he come back the very next day?

I wasn't satisfied with the reasons you laid out.

 

[Robert Crisman]

In any event, the guy was scared for the reasons I laid out.

[Robert Crisman]

@Other: You mean like gay guys get horny when some other guy is getting ready to kick the shit out of them? You can't be serious.

[Other]

erect

[Robert Crisman]

@Other: Scared stiff? I don't get it.

[Gita]

put a flesh-eating grin on his face.... love it.  In keeping with OTHER's remark, he might have been scared witless.