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What can YOU say in six sentences?
Not the Halloween I Remember
I gotta tell ya folks, I'm a rational, science orientated, non-superstitious cynic. I don't believe in ghosts, demons, hob-goblins, vampires or any of that shit.
So when the kids knocked my door I opened it with the intention of seeing them all off with their respective pointed tails between their legs, “Hah,” I shouted, “what a collection of dumb jessies … dressed up as the devil, witches, demons ….. is that supposed to scare me ?”
They all looked pretty sheepish and I laughed, but then I saw one kid at the back dressed as some sort of silvery sphere with petal like brown plates glued to it.
“Oh that's scary.. “ I sneered, “What the fuck are you supposed to be ?”
“I'm a sub-critical mass of plutonium covered in shaped explosive charges which when detonated compress me and cause a massive nuclear explosion....” he hesitated, and I reached into my pocket for some money because I was right, that is scary.
So when the kids knocked my door I opened it with the intention of seeing them all off with their respective pointed tails between their legs, “Hah,” I shouted, “what a collection of dumb jessies … dressed up as the devil, witches, demons ….. is that supposed to scare me ?”
They all looked pretty sheepish and I laughed, but then I saw one kid at the back dressed as some sort of silvery sphere with petal like brown plates glued to it.
“Oh that's scary.. “ I sneered, “What the fuck are you supposed to be ?”
“I'm a sub-critical mass of plutonium covered in shaped explosive charges which when detonated compress me and cause a massive nuclear explosion....” he hesitated, and I reached into my pocket for some money because I was right, that is scary.
Comment
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Comment by Kim Soles on October 31, 2009 at 10:48am -
Not many people ask “What the fuck are you supposed to be ?”which I love, in turn his answer had to blow you out of the fucking water. Nice job.
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Comment by Edward Dean on October 30, 2009 at 9:19pm -
Pssst Bob;
The kid didn't want the money. This little smart ars was looking for a bottle of your brown ale.
Leave it up to you to bring Holloween to a 'critical mass.'
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Comment by Alexandra (MoonWillow) DeEsch on October 30, 2009 at 8:22pm -
Comical, yet truly scary! Glad he didn't show up on my door, I think I would have peed my pants!
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Comment by Michael Brown on October 30, 2009 at 7:55pm -
Wonderful, and that kid responded without referring to a script, which just goes to show where we are today. This is one of the best of the holiday stories I've seen in these parts. I should have expected it would be one of yours.
© 2013 Created by Robert McEvily.
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