No Matter What They Tell You, Do Not Walk Toward the Light

[Angela]

The light was blinding, I swear, I know people say there was a blinding light all the time, but this light was bright through my damn eyelids. I was just sitting there on the bed, watching Toddlers and Tiaras (I just love that show - those little girls are so cute and their mommas love them so much, maybe I should have done that with my little girl and she wouldn’t be a lesbian) and drinking a Co-Cola. Anyway, so then there is this incredible noise, like a giant crack, the only thing I can compare it to would be maybe Rowdy Yates snapping a bullwhip about a quarter inch away from your freakin’ ear, only six thousand times as loud. When I uncurled myself, I noticed the phone cradle was sideways on the TV stand, so I creeped out of the bed to investigate, and that’s when I found the phone on the carpet - but even weirder, there was a rectangular chunk of plastic laying on the floor at the foot of the bed. Something smelled funny, and then I glanced down to see that the chunk of plastic came from the phone plug, the socket was melted, and there was a burn mark on the wall. I’m not the sharpest knife in the drawer, so I didn’t put it all together until my old man hollered “Goddam, the side of the house is on fire!”, and I said, “Sonovabitch! We got struck by fucking lightening!” - now can you believe that shit?

[Angela]

Greetings Friends, and deep thanks. Glad to make someone laugh.
@Sandra - Wanted to see who remembered Rowdy. Good girl.
@Lindsey - Nice to have you around. Thanks.
@Teresa - So kind of you to remember the actual event. Toddlers is scarier, I agree.
@ Crisman - Your praise means so much to me.
@Joe - At this point in my life, I should know what rofl means, but I know it must be good.
@Sir - Joanne Woodward was acting.

@Shauna - If you had been there, I wouldn't have been so scared. You could have deflected the lightening with your wrists.
@Bonnie - All is well. All was true except the fire. And much more than the phone was damaged.
@Bill - Well, it is not as hard to describe as it once was...
@B.E. - Miss McGawdy, I am. ;-)

[Sandra Davies]

Anything with Rowdy Yates in it gets my attention ... but the rest of it MORE than stood up - rollicking good write Grey.

[Lindsey Leffew]

I love the voice and the rhythm of this piece. Very nice.

[Teresa]

You crack me up. Toddlers and Tiaras? That scares me. But anyway, I remember you mentioning this lightening situation. I'm glad you weren't ON the phone when it melted! You last line was a hoot despite the scary scene.

[Robert Crisman]

Great dialogue! Nice job.

[Joe Gensle]

I can't discern whether it was the voice of Daisy Duke or Ellie Mae Clampett reading this to the inside of my perceptor. Either way, it was truly a HOOT! Esp. enjoyed the 'lesbian' line, rofl.

[Mike Handley]

I like this face of Eve. It's positively Crismanesque, sans adam's apple!

[shauna mcclure]

ohhhhhh, carole-anne....i was not expecting lighting. l LOVE this wicked voice and the whole t&t thang...wonderful, brilliant, funny...'this house is clean....'

[Bonnie]

I can't...believe that shit! Except, of course I can because, Grey, you described it perfectly. I, too, hope all is well there...

[Brittany]

lawdy, lawdy girl :)