What can YOU say in six sentences?
The light was blinding, I swear, I know people say there was a blinding light all the time, but this light was bright through my damn eyelids. I was just sitting there on the bed, watching Toddlers and Tiaras (I just love that show - those little girls are so cute and their mommas love them so much, maybe I should have done that with my little girl and she wouldn’t be a lesbian) and drinking a Co-Cola. Anyway, so then there is this incredible noise, like a giant crack, the only thing I can compare it to would be maybe Rowdy Yates snapping a bullwhip about a quarter inch away from your freakin’ ear, only six thousand times as loud. When I uncurled myself, I noticed the phone cradle was sideways on the TV stand, so I creeped out of the bed to investigate, and that’s when I found the phone on the carpet - but even weirder, there was a rectangular chunk of plastic laying on the floor at the foot of the bed. Something smelled funny, and then I glanced down to see that the chunk of plastic came from the phone plug, the socket was melted, and there was a burn mark on the wall. I’m not the sharpest knife in the drawer, so I didn’t put it all together until my old man hollered “Goddam, the side of the house is on fire!”, and I said, “Sonovabitch! We got struck by fucking lightening!” - now can you believe that shit?