My Future Ex-Wife And I Meet In this Bar...

[Robert Crisman]

Her dress is thin as a membrane and when she sits down it slides up and up, and she knows exactly where on that sleek, ivory thigh the hem stops.

Right this side of Las Vegas, my brother, and boy, all those muscles, and, man, I don't need this...

So I'm plotting, of course, and she catches me at it, and gives me this twist of a smile, Bacardi straight up, which tells me her bed is to swim in and maybe go down for the third fucking time.

Plus, man, she's blonde, upstairs and downstairs I'd bet you the farm, and I'm an All-American boy, and we all were promised blondes under the tree, and if we don't get one we turn into dopefiends or some goddamn thing, but this blonde, she's crazy and thinks I can take her to heaven, or someplace away from this mess at least...

So, home we go, and I try her on like a gabardine sportcoat and she slips me on like a new pair of drawers, and, man, it is go-o-od for a hot New York minute, and then, bang, it ain't, because what she wants, really, is a body-and-fender garageman, to take out the dents that her daddy left there, and, as it happens, I want the same thing.

Sometimes your twitches will send you out hunting Ferraris in Rag-And-Bone Alley...

[Joey Delgado]

'...I'm an All-American boy, and we all were promised blondes under the tree..."

I can't stop reading.

[Joey Delgado]

Sweet Jeebus, this is awesome. Late to the party, but I gotta fave.

[Sandra Davies]

Having coe back for the fourth (fifth?) time, I've no choice but to fave this too.

[Brad Rose]

Crisman,  if I could write as well as you, I'd think I'd died and gone to heaven.  This is loaded with gems and I hate it that you are so damn good.  (In a friendly non-envious way of course.) Mucho Bravo!

[Dude A Bydes]

Better to just tuck a buck and not press your luck, but I have to be honest, this story sounds so familar and so bad... Nice vignette, Robert. -Dude

 

[Judy Thompson]

this is funny, it's tough, it's way cool. who could not like this, if only for the rhythms (ALL the rhythms) and the way the language just flows into itself, all the way.

[Gita]

"is a body-and-fender garageman, to take out the dents that her daddy left there, and, as it happens, I want the same thing" rang my bell, and ain't that the truth? But there's not enough Bond-o in this hemisphere to complete that job. Loved this one.

[Sandra Davies]

Oh. Good. Grief.

All that and then, then the final line.

I need a drink.

[Jadie Jones]

Fan-effing-tastic my friend. This took me to a deep dark place and made me gasp for air once I resurfaced. Loved the ride.

[Teresa]

What Mike said.  And sentence 5 is about ten Psychology Today articles, distilled and compressed into 73 perfectly chosen words.