Missed Bliss

[Simon Halliday]

Sharing a pack of gum is uncontroversial, most colleagues won't be impressed if you help yourself to a swig from their water bottles but my friend D___  shares her hand cream.

It comes out of her purse (a miracle of discovery worth its own story), she  squeezes a dainty line on her palm, and proffers the tube to a girl-friend who repeats the manoevure but hesitates before offering to the next-in-line, yours truly.

"Go on, try it," says D___ , who is often unimpressed by certain types of male objection, so I do, but what I notice is how ungreasy it is, how it sinks into my skin and the redolence of exotic sunsets or some other nonsense which, even as I enjoy, my man-brain snarkily carps is likely a synthetic pong created in a lab next to Fresh Kills landfill in Jersey, and now my forearms feel as soft as the baby's proverbial bum.

The next day I go to the ladies' aisle rather than the section where they stack the cheap vaseline-based junk for guys and unsophisticated people who don't know The Secret:  Spa Indulgence's Mediterranean Bliss, infused with Olive Leaf, Fig and Green Tomato.

I rush home, strip off and put dollops of the stuff all over the bod - a bit of jogging and lots of this stuff and an irresistable  summer physique is just round the corner—shazaaam, baby !

Then I notice the goup ain't sinking in, I read the label and discover I've schmeered myself with Mediterranean Bliss Body Wash.

 

 

[Jeanette Cheezum]

haha!  Love this. I needed this, thanks!

[Toby Tucker Hecht]

Very, very good.  It reminds me of the time that my then 5 year old brushed his teeth with vaginal jelly which had the same color tube container as his toothpaste.

[Gita]

Waaahahahahahaha! This is perfectly perfect. I, too, have tried to use the wrong product at times. Last week, in a hotel, I believed that the tiny bottle of body lotion was hair conditioner. I mean, it was in the guest basket right next to the shampoo and it was white.  Fave.

 

[Stephen Torelli]

I've been told that I look like the type who uses lotion and that "lotion" thing sticks with me. Excellent account.

[Teresa]

I really do like this.   Love the wording, the "man-brain" inside look.  Fun read.

[Ron. Lavalette]

Hey, it could be worse, man.  trust me on this....waaaaaaaaaaaaay worse.

[Mike Handley]

Ah, I so love this ... the PERFECT ending to a Mars-tries-Venus moment.