Miracle in Small-Town Alabama.

 (Saturday, 31 December, 2011, 16:52 EST)

Hundreds of homosexuals and other curious onlookers from all across the country have been making their way to a church in Riverview, Alabama to see a loaf which has the image of a penis burnt into it. Church officials say nearly 20,000 homosexuals have already visited the Renewal Retreat Centre to pay homage in front of the toast, which has now been mounted in a glass case.  

 

 It is not just gay people that continue to throng to the site, but a gaggle of middle-aged Mormon women was also observed,  gawking and openly giggling at the eight-centimetre (five-inch) loaf. 

 

 

 Anil Philip, a young freelance journalist, says initially he was skeptical about the shape of a penis emerging on the surface of a loaf of bread. "But after a couple of visits, deep down I experienced a different feeling" he said. 

 

 Father Jacob George of the Renewal Retreat Centre is convinced it is a miracle, and a clear sign that he could now be permitted to wear Spandex in public again. 

 
  

 

  

 

Views: 74

Tags: Satire

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Comment by Abhi Kantamneni on December 31, 2011 at 1:48am

I am disappointed you did not like it Mike.  I was not trying to be very creative, just trying to have some fun. 

@Ed and Angela

Thank You! :)

Comment by Mike Handley on December 31, 2011 at 12:25am

This piece doesn't work on so many levels. While I agree the whole apparition thing is rich fodder for satire (as is my home state of Alabama), changing a few words in a news report does not constitute creativity. It's cheap. Lazy. Your choice of substitutions is also absurd in the context of the religious fervor these apparitions spawn.

Comment by Edward Dean on December 30, 2011 at 8:59pm

Fun 6, AK.

Imagination is the greatest gift to mankind.

Comment by Teresa on December 30, 2011 at 7:48pm

I read the BBC story.  What is wrong with people?  Thanks for the laugh.

Comment by Angela on December 30, 2011 at 5:49pm

I love apparitions and manifestations.  The Virgin appeared on the side of an office building in Florida some years ago, and caused quite a stir.

You captured the objective news-report-style nature with which things like this are reported to the public.  Very funny.

Comment by Abhi Kantamneni on December 30, 2011 at 3:49pm

This 6s was basically this BBC story,  with just a few keywords changed. :)

Thank you for the comments.

Comment by Toby Tucker Hecht on December 30, 2011 at 3:17pm

Nothing like a miracle as an excuse for a vacation!  This is hilarious.  Thanks.

Comment by Robert Crisman on December 30, 2011 at 3:13pm

I figured it'd be mostly straight guys coming to see it. They're the biggest dick freaks on the planet.

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