What can YOU say in six sentences?
Halfway into an hour-long wait at the doctor’s office with my mother today, I grew weary of staring at the bloody catheter bag taped to the thigh of the guy sitting across from us and slipped outside for a smoke. Soon after I began pacing, the car in the slot next to the handicapped spot pulled away, and the empty space beckoned, whispering how much easier it would be for me to load the wheelchair with all that room.
As I reached into my pocket for keys and spun on my heels, the office door swung open and out strolled a ponytailed woman the size of a blue Mini Cooper. I fell in behind her on the sidewalk, and when I used the remote to pop the locks on my truck, she turned and said, “I guess we had the same idea.
“I was just hoping to get closer to make it easier for my big fat pregnant ass to load HIM,” she said, meaning her equally imposing and wheelchair-bound, diabetic husband Kenneth, who had his first of two stents in 1998 and two heart valves replaced in 2008. Moments later, she navigated her little Hyundai into the vacant spot, climbed out and tapped a pack of Marlboro Lights on her hand before extracting one and lighting it, which was my cue to go back inside and enjoy hearing how another man’s wife was bitten on the wrist by a snake.