What can YOU say in six sentences?
I don’t know if you have received this memo, but if you have, then you know that, as of this date, there will be no more memos. Memos are now forbidden by company policy. Those who persist in sending them will be severely dealt with (up to, and including, execution) —unless of course you are an executive, in which case, you may continue to write memos, but only under the proviso, that they not be read by ANY company personnel. Those found writing memos will also find that their paychecks will be docked a month’s pay, unless of course, said personnel are executives, then alternatively, their pay will be augmented by a month’s pay, but only in the event that no one, NO ONE, reads said memo.
If you have any questions about this change in company policy, please don’t hesitate to send me an e-mail---just as long as it isn’t a memo. Next week, you will receive an e-mail which will outline in detail our company’s new policy which forbids the writing of e-mails or the use of telephones.