Marvin is in a deer stand with his head next to a gun, and he is thinking that...

[Angela]

…it was at the base of this very ladder that marvin first pressed his face into frank’s shirt and rubbed it back and forth so slow and hard and felt frank’s coat zipper scrape his right cheek sweetly again and again and then as he grasped solid handfuls of frank’s shirt, frank spun him around and pushed him into the tree they had been standing under, and as he did, marvin lost his balance slightly.

that was when frank kissed him, frank waited to kiss marvin until he made him lose his balance, and there was nothing marvin could do but hold onto frank’s arm until he regained himself a bit and then, as he reached one arm around frank’s waist and one around his neck, he saw something new in frank’s eyes that he did not recognize, and he wondered if frank recognized anything himself, and marvin was suddenly so hungry he could have eaten an entire apple pie; he was overwhelmed by his desire to do nothing more than to sit on the ground and eat a gigantic apple pie with frank, laughing and being greedy like obnoxious randy boys.

but instead, marvin’s cool smooth hand slipped under frank’s teeshirt and with the pads of his fingers he lightly touched the scar on Frank’s ribs that was the result of a bicycle incident which happened when they were children and which marvin had seen every summer at the lake, wanting to touch it but not being able to, with Frank’s splashing antics making their wives squeal.

now, as things have become, marvin cannot put on his coat without remembering the feel of frank’s zipper on his face, nor fasten his own shirt without wanting to remove it and press the buttons into his mouth, nor take off his teeshirt without touching frank’s scar in his mind, nor imagine another summer at the lake, knowing Frank had so very easily chosen to stay with his wife, and knowing he, himself, felt an unnamable soft emotion for his Elizabeth.

it was right at the base of this ladder that so much began.

marvin knew that if he went down the steps, he would have to put his feet in that exact spot, on that same ground, which he felt they had claimed as theirs alone, by nothing other than the power of what he thought they felt.

[Stephen Torelli]

"it was right at the base of this ladder that so much began."  Yes, like RC says, "Now we get to it."

[Angela]

@ Ed:  Marvin feels about as small as he can get, and his memories seem to just crush him, really.  So lower case.  Also, I felt it added something to the stream of consciousness feel I was hoping for.  Thanks for asking.

[Edward Dean]

Okay, you got me hooked. Now I'll have to go back and read the other posts.

From a craft standpoint; what was your reason for all lower case?????  It certainly adds to the flow of the story.

[Robert Crisman]

Now we get to it...

[Toby Tucker Hecht]

Yearning is the substance of life.  Marvin has a huge dose of it.

[Angela]

@T - The next glimmer into this whole thing will show more of the Marvin/Frank dynamic.  Frank is hard to see as more than cardboard in the tiny bit of time we have with him, although he is much more, as I hope to show.  Peace and closure?  Hmm.

@ Everyone - thanks for hanging in.  I'm trying to wrap it up in a few.

[Teresa]

I'm with Mike.  The interesting thing about this pain is that unlike most heartache, there will be no "just getting over it".  There are too many dark corners in this, dangerous secrets and unknowns.  I want to crawl inside Marvin and march over to Frank's, "We're going out for a beer.  Now.  No questions."  And I would say/ask all that is necessary for peace and closure.  Then I'd bitch-slap Frank.  Just kidding.  Sort of.  Which brings up a good point. I don't feel anything for Frank.  Am I not giving him a break?  Does he deserve one?

[Cita]

Sigh.  I am so hooked on this.  Like a goodbadwonderfulhorrible drug.

[Mike Handley]

I'm constantly amazed at how you crawl into the skins of your characters, milady. Plus, my heart hurts for Marvin.

[Paul de Denus]

You continue to weave the inner workings of emotion -real and denied- and the complications of it all- I think Marvin will come to understand what he wants and let go and go for it. (??) Fine work Angela