Marie Sleeps With Headphones On 2x6

[Angela]

While listening to her special radio station on her tablet, Marie moves into a wishful and solitary pre-dream state.

As the sounds flow into her mind, she sees images of a couple with dark hair and black clothing.  They are at a bar in the basement of a house.

 It has dark red carpeting, and dark red leather barstools.  The man stands behind the heavy mahogany bar, pouring drinks.

The woman slides from her chair, and walks to a sitting area with a wide black leather sofa which has a nail head studded border, and the man follows her, walking toward an old hi-fi cabinet, on the turntable of which he places a vinyl recording.

****

It sounds like the music in Marie’s mind, except that the music from the images she sees emits a delightfully faint random scratching which is what recorded music is supposed to really sound like, she thinks.

The man sits on the sofa, reclining with his arm along its back, his legs crossed with his ankle resting on the opposite knee.

The woman stands before him with bare feet, her shoes on the floor, one standing on its sole, the other dozing on its side.  The insoles are warm and damp, and one of them tried to stick to the bottom of her foot as she removed her shoe.

She begins to slowly dance, taking care not to bump her calf against the sharp corner of the coffee table.  Then the tune from the tablet flows into another form, and the couple dissipate like subparticles on the rods and cones of her dozing retinas.

 

[Robert Crisman]

"the couple dissipate like subparticles on the rods and cones of her dozing retinas." Marvelous passage.

[Bill Floyd]

Downright David Lynch-ian.  

[Carin Cryderman]

It was the shoes that did it for me...really brilliant.  

[Angela]

Oh, Other.  Get where?   ;)

[Other]

I like the intentionality of her reverie, before she falls asleep, where she edits "..delightfully faint random scratching.." into the soundtrack she's listening to so that she can 'hear' the record turning on the romantic stage she's dreaming of.   This kind of subtle detail is part of the genius of your writing. 

Does she always fall asleep before she gets there?

[bolton carley]

your sense of details is astounding.  the shoe on its side.  the man with his leg up.  her moves.  i was just trying to decide if she was moving into a strip tease at some point.  you definitely know how to write steamy! :)

[Jamie Hogan]

Calmly, languidly sultry. And damn amazing. I could see every singly thing vividly.

[Diana E. Backhouse]

You have brought a dreamlike quality to those moments just before sleep. An enjoyable read, Angela.

[Stephen Torelli]

"... subparticles on the rods and cones of her dozing retinas..." excellent discourse. I'm thinking of Dean Martin, Sinatra and shots of Wild Turkey. You've brought back memories. Great stuff! 

[Gita]

Mmmmm. You captured that 1960s basement den so perfectly. I heard Johnny Mathis and smelled English Leather aftershave. The man sits on the sofa, reclining with his arm along its back, his legs crossed with his ankle resting on the opposite knee. He's receptive. The woman slides from her chair, and walks to a sitting area with a wide black leather sofa. She's available. You did this perfectly.