Loon (6x2)

[Ron. Lavalette]

He works the phone all morning, calling to remind his clients to take their pills and drink lots of water, and to reassure them that the voices aren’t real. Some of them he calls and calls again, hoping that on the third or fifth or eighth call they’ll give in, pick up, and maybe even recognize his voice, hear and heed his advice.

By noon he’s pretty toasted from the effort, buys himself a Coke and picks up his journal, goes down to sit in the shade beside the lake, contemplate its smooth surface like it’s a giant crystal ball, and try to divine what comes next. The only other beings he encounters are a few ragged gulls scavenging the shoreline for scraps and a pair of loons forty or fifty feet out, bobbing and diving for whatever it is loons dive for. He watches them for the longest time, thinking about how quiet it must be just below the surface. He wonders why they come back up at all.

.....

He can hear the snarl of a revved engine on the bank far to his left, somewhere out of sight. He can’t tell if it’s a chainsaw or a dirtbike, only that it’s small and angry sounding. It echoes across the water and comes back at him almost a full second later, only slightly smaller but just as angry. When he can’t stand it anymore, he heads on back to the office.

There’s a meeting going on in the conference room; he can hear voices through the wall. When he gets to his desk, the phone is ringing, but he can’t bring himself to pick it up.

[Brittany]

sentence 4, 5 and 6 of the first one are the most intriguing to me. they say so much about him and tie the whole thing together beautifully.

[Teresa]

What Bill said.  I wonder how this narrator heals his own mind.  The job has to be depleting.  He must be a saint.

[Bill Floyd]

Your words are art.  The plaintive feel of the end of the first part (why they come back at all) notches perfectly into the idea of corrupted reverie that starts the second.  Really, really liked this.  

And anyone who is calling to remind folks to take their pills and not heed the voices is a hero to start with.  

[Harry]

I like that he goes to the lake to, "contemplate its smooth surface like it’s a giant crystal ball" and  "snarl" and "angry" are perfect for describing the small engine noise that the loons too must hate when they pop back to the surface.

[Jeanette Cheezum]

A slice of life that is always hard. I love the release the gulls give.  (Our backyard is the Chesapeake Bay) Ron, it's as though you have been in my world for the past five years. Great 6.

[Sandra Davies]

Circularity and the quiet below the surface.   Yes indeed.

[Angela]

This is a 6x2 that begs to be something like a 6x12.  I want to witness the arc of his entire day, and know what comfort those loons may provide.  This was sparse and powerful, and completely free of adjective clutter.  Fine, fine, fine.

[Mike Handley]

All the more reason for the counselor to come to HoW in Kansas in July, where the loudest noise might be the laughter of kindred spirits. That said, this is both beautiful and sad.

[Gita]

That phone call? That was me calling to say what a good job you are doing.

Love the  small and angry noise. A two-stroke engine really does sound that way.  And the quiet just below the surface.

I look forward to another slice of the life of a counselor.