Long Lunch With Marcelle

[Teresa]

Marcelle and I met through volunteer work.  She's about fifteen years older than I am, kind but bossy and opinionated, interested in what others know but not very interesting. 

 

She often sends me emails asking if I want to have lunch or go see a movie, closing with, "You're important in my life and I'm so glad we met."

 

As cruel as it sounds, I don't feel the same, don't feel a connection, and I've wondered how to handle such a situation without ignoring this woman or brushing her off, especially since I no longer volunteer with the same group and have very little time for myself.

 

Marcelle dropped out of sight for about six weeks, then we ran into each other at Kroger where she pulled me aside to explain that she'd had a mild stroke, and as she described the frightening details I felt guilty.

 

We're having a long lunch today at 11:30 AM.

[Jeanette Cheezum]

Ouch! I have been dealing with family strokes, seizures and heart attacks. This really grips the pit of my stomach. Be there and the guilt will disappear. Great 6 "T".

[Mike Handley]

Being a closet hermit, I can relate. It takes a special effort for me to communicate with people, even close friends and family. I mean, shit, there are paintings to paint, stories to write, and so little time because there's that goddamn need for five or six hours of sleep. So, what are ya supposed to do when a non-close acquaintance wants more of that precious time?

[bolton carley]

teresa - i know those people that mean well but aren't interesting.  seems like it's universal.  and i would fall to guilt, as well.  my husband says those types find me.  on the flip side, i'm bossy, too, so i try to keep that in mind.  i love this because we've all been there and the way you write it is always great!

[Cita]

You are nicer than I am.

 

LOL @ Ed Dean..... back spasms!

[Annabelle Baptista]

I have several characters like this in my life and I think it's interesting.  My bestfriend says it's because I'm passive.  Unfortunately, I don't know any other alternative, I'm easygoing,  I'd say. Anyway I find people, all people, fun to watch and listen to. As someone said, it's sometimes in what people don't say, as much as what is said.  Although guilts not fun, usually when we feel guilty it's because we sense we are being selfish or some other negative?? trait that we are afraid of showing.

[Gita]

Go to a restaurant where they serve mojitos!

[Teresa]

Thanks for the comments.  Marcelle (not her real name, but pulled from a memory of a woman with a head injury) likes to be in charge, can come across as insensitive and rude.  But she's unaware of it and doesn't treat me this way, never has, but there's that potential....  She's not that old but issues other than her recent stroke have mellowed and broken her down somewhat, fear has, to be more specific.  She couldn't even remember she'd told me about the stroke already.  Sad.  She was late to the lunch and she's never late (we've had lunch four times, dinner and a movie once).  Her self-esteem is low.  But like Gita said, she'd do anything for someone in need.  She's a giver, even if it kills her, which it might.  I don't think she has many real friends, except through the church where we used to volunteer together.  They've asked her to step down from her position managing other volunteers, saying, "It's not you, we just think we can tighten up the system, tweak it here and there."  I'm glad I met with her.  It won't hurt to do it every few months or so.  I might be as lonely as she is one day.  But it's still uncomfortable.

[Kathleen Gabriel]

I was struck by the juxtaposition in the first paragraph of  "kind but bossy," and have been trying to picture that. The narrator here (I'm not going to assume she's really you, though others seem to know) is telling as much about herself as she is about Marcelle, both in what she says and in what she doesn't. 

[Toby Tucker Hecht]

The lunch is to get the guilt out of your system and a time to explain that you have 2 young children that need your attention and a novel that is your serious work.  Then wish her well and hope you bump into her again soon.

[Angela]

Those guilt-based doings can really sap a person, but the guilt alone is sapping as well.  Classic problem.  No solution that I know about - but you wrote about it very nicely.