What can YOU say in six sentences?
LeRoy, a good friend of ours, is a wing man, well, technically, he’s a breast man, but in terms of chicken, he likes Randy’s Wings and Dreams’ breaded, greasy, Spicy Smokin’ Hot Lava Rockets.
Tonight, as usual, he systematically broke each traditional wing in two, dipped it in a ranch and tabasco mix, and like a run on the piano, he’d snarf down one side and swing up the other to get the last remaining bits of bird. Normally when his tongue starts flaming and the sweat rolls, LeRoy uses his buffalo-sauce-covered hands to palm the sides of his beer glass like a child picks up a sippy cup.
LeRoy’s a drinker, so it was no surprise to any of us when he hopped up to make a frantic dash for the restroom. Mid-wing, LeRoy scrambled to the urinal forgetting he’d fingered too many lava rockets prior to unzipping and whipping out the real deal.
Needless to say, he was left nursing an ignited jalapeno popper in his pants that tingled and steeped into a sting no amount of beer could kill as we stifled our quick-witted commentary on the subject.