"Legitimate" Rape And the Nazi Bush Leagues

[Robert Crisman]

Todd Akin (R. Mo.) this week coined a phrase, "legitimate" rape, in his ongoing war on abortion. Women's reproductive organs shut down when they're raped, Akin claims, which means that they cannot get pregnant, you know, if taken by a legitimate rapist, and so, axe abortion.

"Legitimate" rape...the corollary, unspoken of course, to illegitimate rape, and I can hear Akin trying to explain that infelicitous use of the language to voters whose IQs are higher than smegma: "Well, er, ah, yeah, illegitimate rape...see, some of those bitches are faking, you know, or they're cockteasers, something, and, well, sorry ladies, but, damnit, fuck with the bull, get the horn, for Chrissake, and..."

This is what happens whenever you drag some nazi bush-leaguer out of the sewer to run for political office, and even Republicans want this nitwit to get the fuck out of town; their platform would deep-six abortion, alright, but, uh, those bitches, they're votes, for God's sake, and a good whiff of Akin, they'll flock to Obama in droves. 

Republicans, man--it's like watching a road show of petri-dish creatures, stage-managed by Barnum & Bailey, with Nuremburg footage upcoming this month down in Tampa, and--

Where's Leni Riefenstahl now that Mitt Romney needs her?

[Teresa]

Amen.  Perfection.

[Judy Thompson]

don't know if it was intentional (and sneaky),  but the title is perfect.  Love how you got that "bush" "leagues" in there,  with enough plays on words to keep me busy for quite some time. 

[Angela]

The mind wobbles.  This mouth is speechless.

[Toby Tucker Hecht]

I read this nodding in agreement but when I got to the last line, I hooted out loud.  Great going!

[Judy Thompson]

So what you're saying here, Robert, is that Akin could be Obama's best vote getter in Missouri?    

Barnum and Bailey was a nice touch, btw...

[Mike Handley]

Petri dish dregs ... PERFECT!