Jackfruit

[Joey Delgado]

"Fuck it, let's just go home," he said, visibly shaken from the tense car ride to the restaurant, a restaurant whose name is still unknown to me, having been written in scarlet Cantonese characters on the side of a stucco strip mall.

  

"I want them to love me," I said, referring to my partner's parents, who I was meeting for the first time; me, a white man, whose love for their only son will be trumped by the knowledge that carrying on their family name after thousands of years would be an impossibility.

"They're not going to love you," he said, no malice in his voice, only tender honesty.

His parents were sitting at their table, their usual table, which was directly in front of a giant tank filled with silvery fish, captured and waiting, staring at me with their golden-ringed, unblinking eyes, watching as I sat down at my own white linen covered chopping block.

I was grilled about my career (nursing, disapproved), my financial situation (not the best, disapproved), my family's status (umm they have none, disapproved) and by the time dessert came--a sugar glazed pastry stuffed to capacity with sticky fruit--the conversation was in loud Cantonese, the family arguing/discussing/joking about things I had no business weighing in on.

 

The dessert was delicious and I asked what kind of fruit was in it, pear, some kind of apple, to which the father, not attempting to hide his annoyance at the interruption, at my ignorance building yet another cultural wall between us, said,"No, it's jackfruit."

 

[Joey Delgado]

Thank you all very much for the kind words and the support. :)

[Toby Tucker Hecht]

I love that the title is "Jackfruit" as this was the final straw in this inhospitable encounter.  BTW, I figured out early that life is so much happier when you stay away from people who deliberately make you feel bad.

[Stephen Torelli]

I never had Jackfruit, but I hear it's good. Hang in there!

[Angela]

Ouch.  Glad you lived to tell the tale.  You seem to have handled it with great grace and dignity.  Well done.

[Ron. Lavalette]

Any couple that survives this survives.  Great writing, man.

[Robert Crisman]

All I know is, it's their fucking problem.

[Sandra Davies]

Credit to you for thinking of tryng to cross the gulf;  if it fails it can no long be your fault.   Ultimately it's about the two of you, family gets left behind to some extent even when entirely welcoming.

[Joey Delgado]

Thank you very much, Judy. Nice perspective. We shall see what happens. I really appreciate your emphasis on 'background'. That's so true.

[Judy Thompson]

Joey,  if you have been brave enough to face your own realities and those of your partner,  and he has too, then basically you two will be going your own way together, with the disapproval of his parents ringing in the background and the key word in that is background.  Unlike a trad. Asian family, you would probably not be living with them,  but a  daughter marrying into the family would be, and  under mother-in-law's disapproving thumb for decades.

And ever the fatalistic optimist, I would guess that what happens will be what was supposed to happen.  If you  can weather Meeting the Family you can weather anything.

I just looked up Jackfruit on google. wow.  that stuff is ginormous.

I  wish you well in all of this. This is, btw, extremely well put together,  speculative or not,  and I could feel that cold trickle of anxiety, all the way to the bottom...

 

[Joey Delgado]

Thank you, Teresa. It's an age old problem, especially when there's a cultural difference. I'll use your story as an inspiration because it seems like you stood your ground, stayed strong, and everything turned out okay, new friends and all. I can only hope to be half as brave.

(Use of the word "gong" in your comment made me seriously laugh out loud, since I would be dealing with a very traditional Asian family.)