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Impressionable Minds
Snowy morning brought on a two-hour school delay, so my son, sick of watching Nickelodeon, started channel surfing and came across the Insanity Workout---oh joy.
Though he might have two hours of bliss before school mother gets no such luxury, so while I made myself a reasonable facsimile of a woman ready to face the day, Jack stared transfixed at the infomercial.
"LOOK how RIPPED his ABS are!"
"Jack...Jack... JACK!" Huh? "That's for people who are in pretty good shape already, people like your dad for instance, people who want to tone up and tighten up."
"You're just scared to try," he said, because he knows I'm dieting (in between spine-clenching hunger spasms at work when breakfast and lunch have worn off), instead of pursuing a cardiovascular routine that would require paramadics on standby.
"No Jack, I'm not afraid to try--I'm afraid to DIE, so it's not for me, it's not for you either Mr. Six Pack "Buy Tickets To My Gun Show," and if you think he changed the channel when I told him to as I walked out the door balancing black coffee in one hand and Monster energy drink in the other, you got another crab rangoon coming to ya.
Comment
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Comment by Teresa on March 25, 2011 at 9:24pm
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Hey, do ya'll remember those cable girls from the '80s who "exercised" by bouncing off each other's butts? There was this music, and three women on their hands and knees doing butt boom-booms. It leaned more toward porn than exercise. Anyway, back to the six - funny. There are some people who actually adore exercise, make their bodies a hobby. I'll do some cardio to protect my heart and weights to prevent my arms from turning into flippers, but nothing extreme. Oh and Kristine - those white carbs are the enemy. You're a smart girl.
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Comment by Kristine_ES on March 25, 2011 at 8:35pm -
*sling-shots crab rangoon to everyone* thanks for reading and commenting.
andrea... something crazy is happening that hasn't happened when i tried all the other diet advice (lots of water, stay off salt, graze small meals throughout the day)-- the monster drink is only 200 calories per can, has b vitamins, coupled with the fact that i'm cutting back on portions and carbs ... the weight is coming down a bit! TAKE THAT, SLIMFAST! ;)
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Comment by Angela on March 25, 2011 at 6:21pm -
Loved the crab rangoon, although I was hoping you would win that one. Great description of an off-kilter morning.
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Comment by Andrea Schnitzler on March 25, 2011 at 3:13pm -
Very funny, in that teeth-grinding, God I'm so hungry kind of way. BTW Monster Energy drinks just make you hungrier, so get rid of them! Crab Rangoon on the other hand .... aaaaaahhhhh!
Bill's comment was very funny and probably very true.
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Comment by Bill Floyd on March 25, 2011 at 12:26pm -
I'm with Lapham. Only reason to watch these.
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Comment by Sandra Davies on March 25, 2011 at 9:53am -
I always enjoy these reminders of the insanity of teenagers in the house
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Comment by Ron. Lavalette on March 25, 2011 at 8:00am -
Crab Rangoon? I'm in.
Change the channel.
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Comment by mal on March 25, 2011 at 2:31am -
Yes the fitness culture is alive and well...
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Comment by Brittany on March 25, 2011 at 2:10am -
lol. The last paragraph is hilarious! I think it is so completely wrong to have those early morning workout programs on television with the beautiful scenery and the aerobics instructor that you can bounce a quarter off of her bum kinda' body. GRRR.
Informercials are going to be the death of our civilization!
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