If I've told you once...

[Tanja Cilia]

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We nag because we have valid grievances. Yet it does not follow that the people whom we harry will be grateful; they will become defensive, angry and irritated. Nagging is disrespectful and negative and therefore, automatically unhealthy for the mind, heart, soul and body. It sours relationships.

Badgering our children to do what (we think) is right is not a clause in the job description for mothers – but discussion and compromise are.

It is irritating to hear a child sniffle; yet ordering him to stop will not stop his need to do so. It will, however, make him feel pestered, demeaned, and incapable of looking after himself. Wordlessly handing him a handkerchief would probably have encouraged him to use it. So would a polite request, and a non sequitur about how nice it was when the child did something nice for someone else without being asked, to divert him from the issue.

I know for a fact that some people like to nag to draw attention to themselves, or to their children, when there is an audience. In private, they may not even speak to the child unless absolutely necessary. Others nag because they feel safer when they consider themselves superior to others, or simply because as parents, they can throw their weight around and show who’s boss.

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Read more at:

http://www.timesofmalta.com/blogs/view/20100910/tanja-cilia/if-i-ve...

[Angela]

mmmm...I feel like I must have done something wrong.

[Gita]

Although this exceeds six sentences, I read it with great interest because I know some couples who constantly nag each other. I find it very difficult to be around them, yet can't think of a way to tell the naggers. You seem to understand this phenomenon very well. Do you have any advice for the friends of adult naggers?