If I Had Been a Girl

[Bill Floyd]

If I'd been a girl, my inclination to display physical affection (to need physical affection more than others seemed to need it, perhaps as a result of being given up by my natural parents for adoption during the first hours of my life, some essential deprivation that lingers in my outstretched arms) might've been received much differently.  

I'd have learned to fight dirty, kneeing and yanking and gouging for the least advantage.

I damn sure would've known better than to fall for the bullshit being laid down by louts like the male me.

I would write stories mostly about males--alpha, beta, omega--in an attempt to understand, to empathize, to imagine what it would be like to be a boy believing in sinew and efficiency, averse to silence in any manifestation, roaring just to hear myself roar.

My hands would be every bit as adept as my eyes, caresses every bit as manipulative as tears, and one single rejection is all it would take for me to lock my heart inside a flawless carapace.  

I would make of myself a mystery to myself, an edifice to baffle any wannabe sleuths, I would smile when you lost your temper and I would only ever tell the truth.   

[jkdavies]

I adore sentence 5.  How I longed for a flawless carapace when growing up... serenity as a shield...

[Joey Delgado]

'I would make myself a mystery to myself...' Line six is gorgeous. Actually, the whole damn thing is. It seems as a woman you would be a lot more world-weary, self aware, and street wise, a no nonsense lady who knows what kind of snakes are underfoot, slithering between your feet. 

[Annabelle Baptista]

I love the first line its revealing and lyrical, and I'm right with you in line two. Girls fight hard.

[Kristine_ES]

flawlessly honest. tinged with regret as angela says.  and i can't stop reading sentence six.

 

[Angela]

Every time I try to pull the wool over Robert's eyes (or my own for that matter), he says, "You lie like a girl."  He's an uncanny bullshit detector.

I hope you would only tell the truth, but I think you are telling us something about regret, too.  Fine six.

[Teresa]

Line three is its own six.  And the "caresses every bit as manipulative as tears" really got me thinking.  I told a relationship story to my sister once, and when I mentioned that the guy had cried when I didn't agree with something he wanted, she told me, "How manipulative."  That was the first time in my life I realized people could manipulate with tears.  It had never crossed my mind.  And almost ten years later, I know she was absolutely correct.  Time is such a good but late teacher. 

 

I'm fascinated by our differences, but I'm not sure how many are inborn and how many are acquired. 

[bolton carley]

i see you picked up where angela left off.  personally, i like the mystery idea.  i often hate that about myself.  as a girl, i would love to be the quiet, mysterious type.  but i think we all know i'm the kind that puts it out there for the world to see - not physically of course. :)  

but i always like to see your version of connections, etc. with your adoption background.  i think it comes into play more than we realize with your writing.

[Adrian George Nicolae]

So you would have been something similar to a punk girl.

[Deborah Jovan Reed]

I think this should be a challenge... 6s your life as the opposite sex. Get in touch with the other side.

[Bill Floyd]

Concept stolen from Angela.