I Was a Bad Little Boy

I was so bad when I was a kid my mother sold me to Gypsies; they sued, took our house, and I tarred their driveway.

I was so bad I grew horns and Father Flotsky condemned me to hell; the devil fled back to La Jolla.

I was so bad that Santa came down the chimney and took all my shit.

So bad that they brought back the chair--in Mama Lou's daycare on 12th Street.

So bad that Capone went to church.

So bad that the Crips took up knitting, the Bloods joined the Boy Scouts, the Hulk had a sex change, and Dick Cheney stopped eating babies...

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Comment by Robert Crisman on September 2, 2012 at 1:48pm

@Ron: Well, okay--but the rest of it's true, swear to God.

Comment by Ron. Lavalette on September 2, 2012 at 9:44am

Cheney refrain from dining on infants? Impossible.

This must be fiction.

Comment by Stephen Torelli on September 1, 2012 at 3:11pm

Leroy Brown!

Comment by Mike Handley on September 1, 2012 at 11:12am

cool, especially the parting shot

Comment by Kristine_ES on August 31, 2012 at 7:58pm

yeah, now THAT'S bad!! i love it! 

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