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What can YOU say in six sentences?
How to Lose a War
"Vhat ve need," the Reich-Marshall cried out in exhaltation, "is snazzier uniforms und better music - zhen ve vill be TRIUMPHANT!!" To punctuate his outrageous statement, Von Schtupid lept from behind his desk and clicked his jackbooted heels together before landing an awkward pas de deux in front of the Leftenants.
They glanced nervously at each other and the ancient crystal Goblet on herr Von Schtupid's desk.
"Your drinking vessel - it is an antiquity, yes?"
"Yavol, it belonked to Ceasar himself, und now I am in possession of it's magical leadership powers!"
"Lead, mein fuhrer; it contains lead which will poison your blood and make you crazy!"
"Crazy? HA! I'll show you crazy. Zhese steps vere shown to me by a young student of Balanchine's ve captured only last week, and zhey vill garauntee us victory in Varsaw."
While the Reich-Marshall changed into his pointe shoes, the leftenants quietly snuck out of the office, ditched their uniforms and ran for the nearest border, seeking asylum from whomever would take them.
They glanced nervously at each other and the ancient crystal Goblet on herr Von Schtupid's desk.
"Your drinking vessel - it is an antiquity, yes?"
"Yavol, it belonked to Ceasar himself, und now I am in possession of it's magical leadership powers!"
"Lead, mein fuhrer; it contains lead which will poison your blood and make you crazy!"
"Crazy? HA! I'll show you crazy. Zhese steps vere shown to me by a young student of Balanchine's ve captured only last week, and zhey vill garauntee us victory in Varsaw."
While the Reich-Marshall changed into his pointe shoes, the leftenants quietly snuck out of the office, ditched their uniforms and ran for the nearest border, seeking asylum from whomever would take them.
Comment
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Comment by Daniel on March 31, 2009 at 9:10pm -
Damn, Paul said it all ready. Loads of fun T!
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Comment by Jay Holmes on March 31, 2009 at 5:30pm -
The story reminded me of The Wizard Of Oz and the lollipop guild and the Wicked Witch Of The West's quest for the slippers.
-Jay
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Comment by MartiW on March 31, 2009 at 5:16pm -
"Springtime...for Hitler...and Germany"
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Comment by MartiW on March 31, 2009 at 5:16pm
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Couldn't decide whether I wanted to ask if you were channeling Charlie Chaplin, Groucho Marx or Mel Brooks. Then I saw the video.
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Comment by Tiger on March 31, 2009 at 12:23pm -
Ja wohl, mein general...very funny. I think perhaps there was some schnaps in that goblet...
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Comment by Trevor Mcpherson on March 31, 2009 at 10:46am -
LOL! yeah, must confess I had a little Mel Brooks inspiration on this one.
I read something that suggested that if Hitler had been accepted at art school, things might have been different. Then I thought 'if frustrated artists start wars, what do frustrated soldiers do?' Ballet, of course!
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Comment by Fred Meyer on March 31, 2009 at 8:42am -
LOL. Love it. I would like to see more odd and bizarre stories here. I dig this kind of stuff. MORE!
© 2013 Created by Robert McEvily.
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