This Isn't Really Funny At All

[Robert Crisman]

I know this guy Zack and he's 72 and he's got the moans for this cutie named Angie. She's generations younger than him, which means he's getting no parts of that pussy, not in this lifetime or any thereafter, believe it.

Zack knows this, sort of, and so he pretends to himself that they're friends, and he treats her to meals and all that good jazz, and tries all the while to wrap her like smoke, but that's just a case of the Captain Save-a-Ho Blues; his dick could be lying dead in the dust but it's still got the bleats for the sweeties.

They say that the female's more deadly than any man walking, but all that's just rag-and-bone bullshit; the deadliest thing on the face of the earth for the male is his own fucking dick: it's down there squeaking and squawking and shit, and gets the guys acting like low-rent cartoons, they see some fine ass, it's like they went and got hit by a bus and then came back for more, swear to God...

The man who thinks with his dick is a fool.

How big, after all, could a brain down there be?

[Joey Delgado]

I feel like this should be read out loud in a bar filled with smoke, and some guy in a pork-pie hat plucking a stand up bass behind you. Amazing writing. I love the rhythm of the whole thing. Love the second sentence for the emphasis on 'generations' and the 'believe it.'

[Ron. Lavalette]

Amen, brother.

You're not only right, but you write it so well, it hardly hurts to hear.

[Angela]

No, it's not funny, but you sure say it is a funny way.  I mean, Captain Save-a-Ho?  Good as ever, Robert.