Grocery Cart

[Gita]

He was a big fat man with man-breasts, and he came chugging across the dark Winn-Dixie parking lot. He was pushing a grocery cart, even though he only had three small white plastic bags in it. When he got to his car, he threw the bags in the back seat and then pushed the cart away, as if to say, “Not my worry.”

Well, it was his worry, and I jumped out of our truck and told him so in my war voice before returning his cart to the safe corral, putting it where it wouldn’t roll into someone else’s sheet metal.

I walked back towards him, continuing to give him a piece of my considerably pissed off mind because there’s such a thing as citizenship, dammit, which means you return shopping carts to the corral and you don’t park in a handicapped space.

Inside our truck, the Human Valium barely looked at me, and try though I might to justify my actions, my high dudgeon and sheriff-of-good-manners behavior, we both knew that I’d just “gone off” on the guy and probably needed to adjust my meds, right quick.

[Gita]

@Sissy, I don't think there's a correlation between friendly/messy and unfriendly/neat parking lots. People are just as likely to run you down dead in the messy lots around here. Something about basic civility is missing. Now that I have come across as a COMPLETE scold, I just need to add that I don't really go off on people very often. Just, you know, when they need it.

 

[Ian Rochford]

Ha! My wife has the best "war voice" in the world, well named. Most or our supermarkets use coin locks on the carts so this isn't a problem.

[Jamie Hogan]

@Mike, if she's anything like Mrs. Hogan, things would have gotten physical. With a quickness.

 

This was great, G. Like always, there is something so strikingly original in there that I get eat up with envy. In this piece, that thing is "war voice." I can so hear that, and I love the sparseness of the words to describe it. Most people would need 15 words to do what you did with "war voice." That's what writers do, right there. Great ones, anyway.

[Stephen Torelli]

Yes, we've also seen carts zipping through parking lots without a driver. There's lots of angry people out there. Anyway, on occasion we food shop at Aldi, a food chain from Europe here in New York. They seem to understand the problem. They have carts that the customer unlocks with a quarter and when you return the cart the quarter is given back. And the parking lot is free of rolling missiles. Those darn fat men!

[Bonnie]

Gita~ Sometimes we just NEED to be pissed off and what better way to let off steam than at stupid people?

Do it, THEN take the meds...Fun 6

[Sissy Anderson]

meant "example", I'm a little stupid from lack of sleep.

[Sissy Anderson]

@Gita, btw, loved this. Your honesty and dry humor are an excellent combination. Perfect examption of how "reactionary" we can get, loved the "human valium" too.

[Sissy Anderson]

Okay, I'm one of those odd people who has often thought of the parking lot/grocery cart culture in relationship to our society. This is why...I come from a place where parking lots were messy, carts in the way taking up space, wayward carts all over, but the people were generally nice, friendly and helpful, and although the carts were sometimes inconvienent, rarely did they actually do damage. Then I moved to a part of the country where there was clearly an unwritten "put your cart away" RULE, quite rigid I might add. BUT, this same lot, although tidy of wayward carts, was full of mean, unfriendly people. My children and I were almost run over (it's okay to hit a pedestrian, but put your fucking cart away!)and I was even called a stupid bitch while crossing on two occasions. SO, my conclusion was (although it could be in error, but it IS logical), that tidy parking lots are full of rageful lunatics and messy parking lots of full of easy going nice people. Now for stomping on a kitten....mother fuckers dead.  Peace, Sissy.

[Mike Handley]

I cringe at the thought of what would've happened if he'd stomped a kitten in that parking lot.

[Kristine_ES]

yep. not sure i'm much of a quail cook, but i'm sure we can get along.