Building

[Teresa]

When you look at the Empire State Building, the Golden Gate Bridge or a Bentley, you do not think of a woman.

 

This occurred to me as I watched two women selecting a cake size and shape, then the frosting color and design, all meticulous decisions for them, then I realized that we all have the urge to create, which I already knew, but we all want to build too and yet, while men are out conquering and building empires, we women are planning baby showers, giant weddings, graduation parties, and making executive life-changing decisions about cakes!?!

 

History books are filled with stories of men who quite visibly changed the world; they built airplanes, invented telephones, light bulbs, vaccum cleaners, and even the first birth control pill.

 

Look around -- men built the world.

 

I'm still trying to wrap my brain around this, how as a woman I am perceived by men (and now myself) as a cook/whore/princess/nanny/janitor in a grand palace built by someone else; I am perceived as the whole of women, in one of two ways, either as the lyrics of Simon and Garfunkel -- Clothed in crinoline, Softer than the rain -- or the Commodores -- How can she lose with the sex she use, 36-24-36, what a winning hand. 

 

When I look around at what glory the world will remember, I do not see a woman in the picture.

 

 

[Kristine_ES]

i'm haunted by the 'adage' that the "hand that rocks the cradle rules the world." yet science suspects it's nature vs. nurture, and i'm convinced it's both.  a woman has a HUGE responsibility in raising the child. but nobody's gonna erect a plaque for edison/tesla, einstein, goddard, curie, salk, schindler, jarvik, bradbury, king's momma:  but something happened there, and (i'll get slammed for this) it wasn't just dad who paid for prep school to make junior the awesome person he or she came to be. 

 

[Teresa]

@Amanda ~ WOW!!!  If this cancer treatment works, who CARES about the Empire State Building?  Cured individuals will just relish time spent with loved ones.  How thrilling.  And in the most recent issue of Mind Magazine (I think that's what it's called -- my copy is downstairs) is a series of articles devoted to the differences between males and females.  So far, there aren't many differences in the first year of life.  I can't wait to finish the magazine.  Thanks so much for the inspiring link!

[Amanda Salisbury]

Teresa, I came across this and thought you'd be interested: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/01/15/angela-zhang-high-school-_...

[Amanda Salisbury]

The discussion has been an interesting insight into gender perceptions, at least among the people here. At the risk of agreeing with Crisman's expressed view from many, many moons ago...perception is not reality, (okay, now I'll stray) but it is an individual's reality. If you perceive that women are under-honored and undervalued, then that is your version of reality. The opposite is true also, as is every spot in between. No one's individual reality has any bearing on pure reality - factual reality - except as a social force of time-induced change. It doesn't actually change what has been or what is and can only possibly change what may be.

When I was in the MBA program at OCU, I was the only American in most of my classes. It was a phenomenal experience to meet so many different people from varying backgrounds, and I cherish it still. A common question asked of me: if America is so progressive on equality, why has the country never elected a woman for president? You see, many of the other countries represented had a woman prime minister or queen or other leading official. The politics and social factors are crazy numerous and the implication that America is 'so progressive on equality' can be laughable on many levels, but this underscores the difference in perception. 

[Gita]

One of my three best friends from high school, Roseanne Moss, is one of Montreal's leading architects.  I have no idea what you are talking about when you say that women haven't built things.  Gae Aulenti built the Musee D'Orsay in France:

 

[Mike Handley]

When I look at the Empire State Building, the Golden Gate Bridge and Bentleys, or when I read of empires, I don't think of men or women. Ever. When I look at art, read a book or eat a fabulous meal in a restaurant, I don't wonder whether a man or woman is behind it. Gender does not play a role in creativity or intelligence.

[Teresa]

@Christopher ~ Oh, no, Time isn't more important, just more ego boosting.  And it's coming together here in the comments, how to measure a woman's value.  Thanks, Gita, for the list.  It's wonderful and I'm happy women invented something, but it's still not on the grand scale of the Empire State Building or leading an army or country.  But you went to some effort.  Do we women not care to build a building or empire?  Are our brains just wired differently?  Or are we shut out?  I think it's 75% the wiring difference and 25% the shutting out.  I think this because I've shut women out myself.  I don't trust them to do what I think a man can do better (even if it's only as little as 60% of the time).  We are different creatures.  I wouldn't hire a man to babysit my kids because they can't multitask like a woman and I know this because I live with it.  It's not stereotyping, just facts.  There are always exceptions but on the whole...  And I like what you said, Amanda.  It's interesting that you pictured the option of no more women on earth.  I pictured that yesterday.  I imagined that something awful happened to DNA and all the women died off.  I would love to see how the world would change.  We would still have tall buildings and visible greatness, but what intangible would be lost?  Are women content with great achievements that don't make the cover of Time because we feed off the riches of human relationships?  It's no small thing, just not grandiose, markedly visible.  It doesn't require great feats of engineering or math or physical strength.  I have no doubt that Amanda could design a great building.  What a beautiful mind she has.  But she chose to build a family.  Lots of sacrifice there.  No high profile honors.  But it feels good.  Interesting topic.  I'm still not sure how to feel but the idea will be rolling around my estrogenized brain for a long time.  And maybe that's the bottom line.  Estrogen. 

 

Toby, I have very strong friends, both men and women.  They respect each other. They are physicians, MRI techs, ultrasound techs, artists, attorneys, writers, teachers, etc.  But not one of the gals has ever run a country, invented anything giant or built a great architectural wonder.  I doubt any of your female friends have either.  This is not about being intelligent.  It's about women standing out in history in the same numbers as men, their accomplishments just as visible, memorable.  And it's also about deciding whether the female contribuitions might just be equal in value but less visible.  And it's about our ability to ignore physical differences between men/women, to see men/women as equals, but I don't know if this is possible, if we can even be compared, and more frighteningly, if sans our reproductive capability, if women are even necessary for human survival.  Maybe "survival" isn't enough.  Dr. Phil's wife said once, "He makes the living, and I make the living worthwhile."  I don't want to compete with a man.  That's silly.  But I want to be viewed as having a truly respectable role, no sexist sunshine blown up my ass.  I want to matter equally.  But as things are, bunched together with every other female in the world, I don't matter equally.  Men wear the bigger crowns.     

[Christopher Cody]

Teresa--You mean the cover of Time magazine or the idea that Time is much more powerful than nature?

[Amanda Salisbury]

I wish more women/girls would raise this issue because it opens the conversation. Well done. 

My initial reaction, however simple-minded: Not a single man would walk the earth without woman. I think the beautiful thing about today is that we all choose. To write a story never before told in the same way. To raise a new generation of men and women with higher ideals and nobler aspirations, perhaps. To invent a life-altering technique, device, or process. To teach others to discover their own potentials. To spend day after day healing people and hearing all their physical/mental burdens. To convict an evildoer or exonerate the innocent or fight for the commonest of folks in the commonest of ways or help someone start a new business. And on it goes.

Men did not build the world unless women set fire to it. 

Thanks, Gita, for your input. And thanks, again, Teresa for starting the conversation.

[Toby Tucker Hecht]

And different men.