Flight Plan ...... NOT !!!!

[Bob Clay]

Do you really want to know the best cure for constipation ?

It’s when the flight attendant moves down the aisle, asking each passenger in turn if “they know how to fly a plane ?”

I looked around, maybe I could make it to the toilet before they reached my row, I know how to fly a plane for sure, but a museum exhibit  biplane with bad wheels, torn wings and an engine whose sense of humour was lost somewhere over the Somme Battlefield, not a fucking four engine monster like this.

I almost made it, but the beautiful blonde in the tight fitting airline uniform popped up in front of me and fluttered eyebrows like a  Mars lander’s parachutes before asking me the ultimate question about flying.

And I am crap at lying.

So here I sit on a flight deck straight out of a Star Wars movie, next to  a stewardess with science fiction breasts (I’m sorry, I’ve had enough of this flight attendant shit) and my hands on a control stick that surely belongs to some computer geek game player ... and you can be sure of one thing, my constipation is cured for sure.

[Bob Clay]

No problem Kristine. Also please read 'eyelashes' for 'eyebrows' in the above. I dread to think what 'eyebrows' like a Mars Lander's parachutes might look like. ☺

[Kristine_ES]

i would like to thank you for posting this one now that flying is not on my schedule for the rest of the year. and i hope i can get the vision of this gentleman (okay, and the sci fi boobs) ... but something tells me he's going to manage that four engine monster just fine!

[Mike Handley]

So that's where the Higgs Boson was hiding!

[Paul de Denus]

I'd stick to that stewardess Bob- "Mars lander’s parachutes" "with science fiction breasts" and prepare for the soft landing=)