What can YOU say in six sentences?
Do you really want to know the best cure for constipation ?
It’s when the flight attendant moves down the aisle, asking each passenger in turn if “they know how to fly a plane ?”
I looked around, maybe I could make it to the toilet before they reached my row, I know how to fly a plane for sure, but a museum exhibit biplane with bad wheels, torn wings and an engine whose sense of humour was lost somewhere over the Somme Battlefield, not a fucking four engine monster like this.
I almost made it, but the beautiful blonde in the tight fitting airline uniform popped up in front of me and fluttered eyebrows like a Mars lander’s parachutes before asking me the ultimate question about flying.
And I am crap at lying.
So here I sit on a flight deck straight out of a Star Wars movie, next to a stewardess with science fiction breasts (I’m sorry, I’ve had enough of this flight attendant shit) and my hands on a control stick that surely belongs to some computer geek game player ... and you can be sure of one thing, my constipation is cured for sure.