Abracadabra alacazam aaaannnd POOF----I’m a woman.
What on earth shall I do while I’m trapped in this smokin’ body----move your skinny trouble making ass over, Helen of Troy, there’s a new sexy beast in town.
To do list:
- Throw a dirty martini in the face of a lying, cheating, son-of-a-bitch, doesn’t matter which one, ladies, just point me in the right direction and I’ll let it fly, maybe some of it will hit the twenty year old he’s on a date with, put some goosebumps on those fake ass tits.
- Attend a glamorous Hollywood party, pick a fight with the drunkest mess in a pair of wobbly stilettos, take off my earrings, hand them to my best friend, and pounce, slap that girl’s belligerent ass in the pool---hell, maybe I’ll go in too, because this dress will look damn good soaking wet, contouring to my fabulous curves.
- Have a man light my cigarette, a man with salt and pepper hair around his temples, a man with Clark Gable’s grin, a man with whom I’ll never break eye contact as the flame lights the tip and my cherry starts to burn.
- Go to said man’s luxury suite, fix him a drink, something brown, watch him pour it down his throat as I slowly unzip my dress in the back, pull it down off my shoulders, past my hips, and then.......oh no............POOF----aww shit, I have a dick again.