Dressed in Sarcasm

[bolton carley]

“Do you know what the temperature’s going to be like tomorrow, because I was thinking I should probably wear a skirt to look semi-presentable since it’s going to be a big family function?”

“Think it’s supposed to be warm, probably 90’s, which I assume means you’ll be decked out in something wildly inappropriate then?”

“Exactly, because there’s nothing I want more than to look like a complete slut in a racy, unbearably short, near see-through white mini sitting next to your 95-year-old grandmother in church.   Honestly, I’m just hoping for an extreme gust of wind as we exit so I can do my sexy Marilyn Monroe pose for the preacher.”

“Good, then you won’t be running late picking out an outfit in the morning.  Glad we have that settled.”

[bolton carley]

don't know what you're talking about, jen! lol.

[Jenni Marie]

I can totally hear J. saying this. 

[bolton carley]

robert - no pics, sorry. 

teresa - you might not be too far off. lol.

stephen - thanks.

mike - shades never open around here. :)

angela - the shoes were the highest wedges i own.  i might send a pic of those. :)

gita - it was white, but it was lined and i wore a slip and my mother-in-law said i looked amazing.  i think we can assume it was tasteful.  but trust me, no one wants to see what happens in this house! :)

bob - i prefer to think of it as wit and definitely the way you see it. :)

kristine - feeling of fatness is the biggest variable.  i need to write that 6! :)

[Kristine_ES]

there is no such thing as having the outfit picked out the night before. there are just FAR too many variables. besides...i happen to know her white miniskirt has coffee stains on it.  (tee hee)

[Bob Clay]

I think they got it wrong, sarcasm isn't the lowest form of wit (I've always thought that was bullshit anyway), sarcasm, like the skirt, is the shortest form of wit. ☺

[Gita]

Hahaha! I'd like to be a fly on the wall in your house. And I'm with Angela: may we have the details of what you finally picked out?

[Angela]

I want to hear about the accessories.  And the lipstick color.  And the hair.  AND THE SHOES OMG.

[Mike Handley]

Shake 'em up! Please don't keep those "window shades all pulled completely down."

[Stephen Torelli]

... a sparkling and funny tale and wish I could be there.

[Teresa]

Maybe he was hoping it would be wildly inappropriate...;-)  Then he'd make you change before leaving the house.