Cracks

[Brittany]

I saw a photograph of your daughter, whose now aged thirteen, in a bedroom fit for a princess; posing in front of shabby walls decorated with a chandelier and covered in richly shaded lilac plaster that appeared to be crumbling. There were jagged vertical cracks above her dolls' heads as they looked on in the picture with smiles of stunned joy and complacency.

My ghost is no longer present, and just like the flecks that were on the floor, just beyond the untended hallway, the change of seasons and an air of duty have since carried it all away.

Evaporated matter with a holed heart, I hung just behind the interior walls as I loved you recklessly, while we soiled our souls and those of everyone below the banister. It felt like we were a fungus that had infected and molded an already stale home.

Eventually sober from the poison of wine and promises, I swirled like yesterday's stagnant cigarette smoke out through the cracks of that heart pine front door and out onto Tchoupitoulas Street... you never even missed me.

[Kristine_ES]

untended. this is the word that strikes me most here. untended lives nobody notices until they've stepped out of the picture and looks back in. really sad.

(yes, adele is brilliant!)

[FlowerChild]

Amazing.....made me feel kind of....empty. But in the good way. Awesome writing makes me have that feeling sometimes! :) good 6!

[Brittany]

@jk thank you!

Adele moved me last night. She is brilliant :)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLQl3WQQoQ0

Love that one.

[Brittany]

Angela it's fiction. It was 2 o'clock in the morning last night and I was moved by music and so I wrote. I guess that is why it is unclear. I am glad Gita found something appealing in it and I thank you and Jeanette for your kind words. Just a slice on dysfunctional relationships (which I have had) but not this one in particular. Relationships and bad affairs are things we throw ourselves into even when they are toxic and hurt other people. Once we gain our focus there is rubble all around and usually the person we thought hung the moon hasn't noticed our absence. It's true what Frost said when he spoke of ... with every goodbye you learn.

The 6 has a lot of New Orleans in it regarding the banister, sorry I could not find a way to explain that better in this piece.

[jkdavies]

f**k that is brilliant...

I did misread it as prison of wine to start with but poison is equally good... just such a (oh I can't even find the right adjective - regretful, bitter, nostalgic, empty) mood that you have evoked here, harsh but wonderful.

definite favourite

[Angela]

The phrase "you never even missed me" spoke to me of how one can be on equally intense footing at one moment in time, and on a toppled slide the next.  Your piece was full of gentle language and the sounds of longing, but I am not able to fully cipher what is being said.  I think that it is good of you to have shared this much with us, and I appreciate the feeling of knowing there is more to the story resting above the banister.

[Jeanette Cheezum]

Visually enchanting 6.

[Gita]

Eventually sober from the poison of wine and promises, I swirled like yesterday's stagnant cigarette smoke out through the cracks of that heart pine front door and out onto Tchoupitoulas Street... WOW!!