Anorexia.

[Scarlett Rose]

I lied to myself for many years, but in 2009 I was eventually diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa. It's been a long and slow and painful and awful process; eventually ending up bulimic and in a hospital bed after taking an OD. I decided I was going to begin recovery. And not just the type of recovery that meant I still didn't like my body and still weighed myself every now and then and still had a somewhat abnormal relationship with food: I meant completely recovered.

So here I am: I've thought I was fat since the age of eight years old, I've binged and purged and restricted and overexercised and abused laxatives for far, far too long but now I treat my body in a healthy way, do not restrict, do not overexercise, do not have any fear foods and damn, I really, really appreciate all my body has done and continues to do for me.

So here's to being recovered.

 

P.S - R is for Recovery (and Rebekah)

[Toby Tucker Hecht]

I was about to say that this is a happy ending but really it is a happy beginning.  Best wishes to you.  Please keep writing.  We are here for you.

[Leon Jackson Davenport]

I've always liked the strength and personal courage you reveal in your work. I will pray for your health and success.
Leon.

[Roxanne]

So happy for you.  Thank you for this.

[Jade Kennedy]

Congratulations to you for finally beating bulimia, things can only get better for you now! :) This is a very emotionally powerful piece and even though I am looking at this from the other side, it is very moving. I have lost nearly 5 stone in just over a year (that's nearly 70 pounds!) finally after years of feeling fat, lazy and totally out of control with food,whatever I ate I gained weight,and I have never eaten huge amounts, I was finally diagnosed with an underactive thyroid and put on medication. The weight has just fallen off and I so agree with what you say about to stop labeling food good or bad! We make it the enemy

[Angela]

...and here's to you.  Food disorders are nearly impossible to beat.  You have to take the beast out of the cage and pet it three times a day, right?  Wishing you continuing success.

[Teresa]

I can identify with wanting to conrol my body's appearance, with chronic weighing and being dissatisfied with my appearance.  Two things come immediately to mind, both books, and I personally know the author of one, via internet and personal correspondence -- Kim Brittingham.  She wrote Read My Hips, both as memoir and an attempt to reach women who struggle with body image.  She's struggled with being overweight all her life until she made a radical decision and shared with others in her book.  The other book that comes to mind is Augusten Burrough's This Is How.  There's a chapter called "How To Be Fat".  It's amazing how he swims down to the bottom of what we humans are really struggling with, which in the end has almost nothing to do with weight and our bodies.  He mentions many truths that Kim did, then he asks his reader, "What is thin?"  The answer is surprising, and liberating.  Then he writes, "It's only after causing myself a certain degree of damage that I learn what it was, underneath it all, I was looking for."  And it applies to every one of us.  We all get lost and hurt ourselves.  Only the lucky ones -- like you -- brave recovery.  Kudos and continued support. 

[Justine Dunn]

You've not just shared your words, but bared your soul in these few heartfelt sentences.  Very brave and honest of you.  You look beautiful in your pic, and best of all - happy!