I’m trapped in an empty mayonnaise bottle with a couple dozen other fireflies, who are blinking like they’re trying to send Morse code (would that they were). The sweaty, mouth-breathing little monster who netted us and put us in here was kind enough to poke a few holes in the metal lid so we can breath, and he has added some wilted blades of grass and a nubby stick to give a ‘natural environment’ to our prison (yes, sarcasm is my middle name—if I had a name). The jar is sitting on the porch while explorer boy dashes about the twilight yard with a shoddy net on a pole, swiping for fireflies aimlessly; really was this boy the slow one in the herd? Oh well, I guess I’ve had a good life (if a short one), but I do hate to end up here in this stupid bottle with all these flashing morons, too dim (nice pun, huh?) to even realize they’re imprisoned in a glass chamber of death (another good one). Wait a minute, this bug-catching nitwit’s little sister has just picked up our jar and is slowly, awkwardly (she is young, I guess,maybe three or four, so I will cut her a little slack, but just a smidge) unscrewing the lid, and yes, she has done it, we are free! I fly out of the jar, soaring upwards to escape being snagged again in that filthy net, my taillight blinking frantically in true, unabashed happiness for once in my otherwise miserable buggy life when a passing bat catches me in his mouth, and now I’m gonna end up as bat guano!
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